Beta Blockers or decline?

Casadena

Dear Prudence,

My husband’s father passed away two weeks ago. We are all very distraught, but my husband is facing a horrifying prospect. His mother wants him to deliver the eulogy, and my husband has a terrible fear of public speaking. It’s so severe that the last time he had to give a speech he literally shit his pants. Luckily, he had planned ahead and wore an adult diaper as a fail-safe, but obviously this is a situation we would not like to repeat. He says he wants to do this for his dad, but is terrified at the prospect of it happening again. The funeral is in three weeks. What can we do to help him overcome his crippling anxiety over speaking in public?

—Funeral Freakout

banana468

Can he tell his mom that this is a non starter?  I appreciate the overall sentiment that it's for the deceased but funerals are for the living.  If he's unable to give the eulogy can be be up front about it but would an alternative be to read what he wrote?? 

MNNEBride

I have a co-worker who has PTSD from doing this type of thing.  She has crippling anxiety if she needs to do any public speaking.

My suggestion is that the husband to write the eulogy and have someone else read it at the funeral or memorial service.  

charlotte989875

What a lovely solution @MNNEBride! 

short+sassy

I know he doesn't want to disappoint his mom, but he needs to tell her "no" and that he will be too upset during the funeral to do this.

It's understandable if close family members/friends are too distraught to give a eulogy and I don't think that's unusual.