Dear Prudence,
I have raised five children and currently take care of my nine grandchildren, and I never had a problem until my daughter-in-law, “Delilah,” got pregnant. Delilah has always been high-strung and demanding, but her present behavior takes the cake.
The baby isn’t even here and Delilah is already lecturing me on feeding and napping times, and telling me that I am not allowed to feed her child “crap” like my other grandchildren get. My other grandchildren have perfectly normal food and screen time. Goldfish crackers and apple slices have never hurt anyone. Neither has turning on Sesame Street when I am cooking or need to do other chores. I read to all my grandchildren and encourage them to go outside and play.
Delilah treats me like I am essentially witless. She talks down to me like I’m a dim doormat that exists for her to wipe her shoes on. My other daughters have even gotten into fights with her over her treatment of me. I try to rise above it, but it really hurts that my son will not stand up for me.
I hit my breaking point when Delilah told me I would need to remove my three elderly cats because she refused to have these “creatures” around the baby. I told Delilah the only thing I would “rehome” would be my offer to watch the baby after she needed to go back to work. She could hire a nanny then.
This majorly upset my son and daughter-in-law, with Delilah going on a social media tear about how awful, racist, and horrible I am. She later deleted it all when my other son-in-law and daughter-in-law called her out. They are both people of color and one is gay. I never had a problem with Delilah’s background, just her behavior. Delilah does not get along with either her mother or stepmother. I don’t want to lose a connection to my son or new grandchild, but these demands are ridiculous. So what now?