Wedding Woes

Your sister sucks

Dear Prudence,

My sister, “Priscilla,” ended her marriage with my former brother-in-law due to his serial adultery. Last month, she received the news of his death. They had been divorced for 15 years, but there was no love lost between them. His funeral was two weeks ago.

I did not expect her to attend, but I did so that I could be there for my niece and nephew and their families. However, Priscilla pulled a stunt that left them beside themselves with fury.

When everyone assembled in the cemetery for the graveside service, we were shocked to see a plane skywriting a message overhead that ultimately ended up reading, “Good Riddance!” Initially, we had no idea who was responsible until I told my sister about it, and she boasted about hiring a skywriting company. Priscilla has been crowing about it nonstop ever since.

It wasn’t just her kids there, but their spouses and children as well who saw it. So did members of her ex’s family, who obviously played no role in his infidelity and were just as offended. My sister justified it as a final payback for her ex’s numerous affairs while they were married. Her kids have cut her off, but now my niece and nephew have both said that if I want to continue to be in their lives and those of their kids, they expect me to disown my sister. Was what she did distasteful enough to warrant not speaking to her again to preserve my relationships with them?

—Scandalous Skywriting

Re: Your sister sucks

  • Wow that’s terrible. 

    That your sister would prefer to burn down her relationship with her children and grandchildren should tell you all you need to know about what kind of person she is. She clearly hates her ex more than she loves her kids (or anyone else who was there) and if she’s going around telling people it was her she clearly lacks empathy as well. 
  • It's your choice.  I hate ultimatums.  But what your sister did was unconscionable.

    Your former BIL was a person and despite how he was horrible to your sister, what she didn't wasn't horrible to him.  He's dead!  He's not seeing what was written.  His family and kids are.  Who does she think she got back at while doing this?  

    I would be clear to her that you are terribly sorry that she's hurt but the only thing she did here was to alienate herself from the living.  
  • Your sister is awful, but her kids don't get to dictate your relationship with her. Your future relationship with your sister is your choice; your niblings don't get to decide that. 
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