Wedding Woes

Therapy?

Dear Prudence,

I know there are far bigger problems out there, but my wife has a paralyzing fear of bugs and spiders to the point where she goes into a panic each time she encounters one. Two nights ago, there was a spider in our room, and she slept in our guest room even though I killed it and flushed it down the toilet. Last month, a bee was in her car, and she pulled over and called me to come and get it out. She claimed she was afraid it would come after her if she opened the doors herself. There have even been instances when she has called me to come home from work because she found a spider in our house. When I haven’t been available, she calls a neighbor. This has become incredibly wearing, especially since the summer is bug and spider season where we live. Is there any way to help her overcome her irrational fears

Re: Therapy?

  • She needs a good therapist and you need one too.  IMO you're enabling her but if it's a paralyzing fear she needs serious CBT to help get her though and understand that others are not responsible for removing the anxiety she has. 
  • She needs therapy and you need boundaries. "No, I am not leaving work early to come home and kill a spider" is a completely normal thing to tell another adult. 
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