she's an adult...

Casadena

Dear Prudence,

My parents got divorced in 2024, and they both seem to be dealing with it in unhealthy ways. My siblings and I live out of state, so we tend to find out after.

My dad bought a stereotypical overpriced car and picked up douchey dating habits. Mom announced that she got a boob job. She panned the FaceTime over her sweater, and the new size was eye-popping. It was extremely unexpected in every way. She got it months ago and then kept it secret from us until it healed. I don’t like this for her, and it’s out of character and too much information, too. But she’s an adult, and it’s done. She says she’s recovered fine.

My sisters say it’s a sign that something’s wrong with our mom, and their suggestions range from “make her get checked for dementia” to “she should move in with one of us.” I think at most, she might need a therapist. Am I way off base here? How do I work together with my siblings in this case?

—Wish She Hadn’t But She’s An Adult

VarunaTT

"Divorce is hard....it makes you do crazy things." -- Ted Lasso.

Leave your parents alone.

banana468

"One of our parents decided to spend money on heavy machinery and is not respectful of women and the other made a choice millions of women make with the help of a trusted plastic surgeon.  And your thought is that the person who worked with a DOCTOR Is the person who needs to be checked???" 

short+sassy

Sooooo...is the LW mad because their mom kept her surgery a secret?  Hardly surprising, considering the sister's completely unhinged reaction.  Or are they mad because the mother was "TMI" to tell them months later?  Pick a lane, OP.  Or better yet, don't.  Because your mom is a grown woman and her plastic surgery procedure(s) are none of your business.

The LW also doesn't know if this is "out of character".  Maybe the mom wanted this procedure for years and only felt the freedom and courage to do it after her divorce.  I'm reminded of the 52-year-old woman from last week who wants a tummy tuck, to the point of saving for it for a long time.  But she's hesitating because her H is so against it.

ei34

I immediately thought of last week’s LW too @short+sassy! 

LW and sister both need to grow up. 

charlotte989875

So you want to force your adult mother (who presumably was required to meet with a surgeon at least once prior to surgery) to move in with you because you’re worried about her mental health but you’re totally fine with Dad spending money and making “douchey” daring choices? Leave mom alone and check your sexism please. 

levioosa

Ughhhhhh Misogynyyyyyy