Request a move or deal

Casadena

Dear Prudence,

I am a college freshman and I’m having roommate trouble. My roommate has some pretty peculiar habits which have started to make it uncomfortable to live with her. She is very anti-social and spends most of the time in the room. The only time she is not in the room is for classes and meals. I have invited her to dinner but she will not speak to me for the entire meal, even if it is just the two of us. The only thing that she will really talk to me about is her cats. She is very attached to these cats and keeps plastic bags of their fur with her at all times in her lanyard. Her whole demeanor makes me very uncomfortable because she doesn’t display emotion very well. I have spoken once to my RA who recommended I talk to her about our lack of communication. However when I brought it up she didn’t feel like it was a problem. I don’t know what to do! It’s not as though she is violating my personal space, but she just makes me feel unsettled.

—Worried About Roommate

levioosa

Sometimes people are just quirky. Be cordial, but just because you're roomies it doesn't mean you have to be besties. Next year, request a new roommate. Honestly having someone who keeps to themselves and isn't constantly in your business is like the next best thing after a roommate bestie. Trust me, it could be worse. 

VarunaTT

IIRC (or at least in my time), you could request to be moved.  It was a hassle and it was kind of prioritized as to "this is a bigger problem", so who knew when it would happen.  This doesn't really seem like that big of a deal as long as she's not carrying a dead cat with her.

banana468

Most colleges I've seen aren't having open dorm assignments just waiting to be filled so asking to move may be hard.  But freshman assignments can be luck of the draw so start figuring how with whom you're compatible and try to stick it out now.  Look for opportunities next semester to move and definitely for your next year. 

MyNameIsNot

Things are probably different now, but I remember a request to move was really only granted if you had a big problem; just not really gelling wasn't enough. 

Change your mindset and accept that you aren't going to be bffs with your roomie. She's weird, and that's fine. Weird people are allowed to exist. You might find that once you stop trying to force a friendship you'll get along better, or you might just have to accept that sharing a space with a quiet, quirky person who doesn't cause you any problems is just fine.