This is just over the top

Casadena

Dear Prudence,

I did something so stupid, and I keep reliving it over and over. I am white, and today I hired an Uber, and the driver was a Black man. We were chatting on the ride, and he mentioned that he was from St Louis. I blurted out, “They’ve got the best barbecue in St Louis!” As soon as I said it, I just cringed inside. I know it sounded racist, shallow, stereotypical, and like a classic microaggression, dressed up in a pitiful attempt to connect with a Black person. But the thing is, my husband and I absolutely love barbecue and soul food. Wherever my husband and I go, we always stop for barbecue (greens, cornbread, okra, peach cobbler, etc.). I grew up in Virginia, and we ate like that frequently, so it holds fond memories for me.

But there were also a lot of racial issues with my family. My first boyfriend was a Black boy, and my parents were not OK with it. I’ve spent many years accepting that my family was and is racist. I’ve been working as hard as I can to unlearn the things I was conditioned to believe about Black people and to just listen to their experiences. I’ve really been trying to understand the criticisms that Black people have about white people, and I was shocked at myself for what I said. It felt like all the things I’ve been trying to accomplish were wiped out in one go, and I’m grappling with the fact that Black people might be right when they say white people will never be able to get past their internalized racism. Should I reach out and apologize? If the driver didn’t take it as a racist comment, then I’ve just created a really awkward situation. If I don’t reach out but he’s angry or upset, then I haven’t been the ally that I want to be. I want to own my stupid mistake, but I don’t want to make things worse.

—Ally or Not

VarunaTT

Ma'am, the only thing I'm upset about here is that StL does NOT have the best BBQ.  KC does. 

That's not a racist statement, even to a Black driver.  You shared what you know/love about StL.  If you had said, Oh I love StL BBQ, especially when a black woman makes it <---that would be racist.

ILoveBeachMusic

VarunaTT said:

Ma'am, the only thing I'm upset about here is that StL does NOT have the best BBQ.  KC does. 

That's not a racist statement, even to a Black driver.  You shared what you know/love about StL.  If you had said, Oh I love StL BBQ, especially when a black woman makes it <---that would be racist.

Exactly. I'm from NC and we are very proud of our pork BBQ and there are two distinct types. I have never equated BBQ (or greens, okra, cornbread since I grew up eating it all) with black people. 

short+sassy

I was also head tilting that the LW thinks BBQ is so associated with only black people that their comment was a racist microaggression.

Followed by my confusion that St. Louis is famous for BBQ.  I usually only think of the Carolinas, TX, and KC.

I Googled it.  According to TravelAwaits, there are 7 regions known for BBQ.  Of course, KC and the Carolinas.

Excuse me.  Apparently you can't just say TX.  Central TX and West TX each got their own call out.

St. Louis and Memphis were included, which I wasn't necessarily surprised by.  I just don't usually think of those areas when I think of BBQ.  But I was the most shocked to find New Orleans listed.  We're famous for a lot of foods here, but I haven't heard of BBQ being one of them.  The author claims we have a spicy, tangy Creole style BBQ sauce.  I've eaten at a lot of BBQ restaurants here and have no idea what she is talking about, lol.  None of them had a Creole flavor or were unique tasting.

MyNameIsNot

This feels like some bullshit that conservatives make up to show just how wacky those crazy libruls are, harharhar.