Dear Prudence,
I grew up in a very small town where most of my family still lives. “Janet” was my best friend growing up, and she got married to “Jacob” right after high school. It was a shit show. Both of them were too young and too immature to make the relationship work. They started fighting on the honeymoon and never stopped.
Jacob did cheat on Janet after one of their many breaks. Then they got a very public and messy divorce. There were drunken fights, clothing thrown on the lawn, and the cops got involved. I was there every step of the way for Janet, even though I was struggling with college.
So my reward is Janet making my wedding about her seven-year-old drama. I am engaged, and we are planning to have the wedding in my hometown. My half-sister, whom I am not close to, has been dating Jacob, and she is pregnant. I figured it might be a little awkward for Janet, but last time I talked to her, she was gushing about her new boyfriend, so I didn’t see a problem.
When I told Janet, she flipped her lid. She started ranting and raving and making demands about how my half-sister and Jacob needed to be uninvited, or she wasn’t going to come. I told her I couldn’t do that and that she needed to calm down. It has been seven years, and my half-sister wasn’t in my bridal party, but I couldn’t just uninvite her. Janet then called my half-sister names and suggested that my half-sister had been sleeping with Jacob while she was still married to him. My half-sister was only 14 at the time. I told Janet to call me when she got over herself. Janet has not responded since, and I am very angry and very hurt. I can’t believe Janet would throw away our friendship like this and not attend my wedding. If my own mother could handle her husband having an affair and another baby with grace, why can’t Janet deal with being in the same room as her ex? We are both nearly 30. Help!
—Abandoned By My Bestie