Dear Prudence,
My retired father lives with me in our garage apartment. We live off a bend in a river where there is a park nearby, so we built up a shaded lookout so my father could continue his bird watching and sketching. He was an avid amateur artist in his youth and has become so good that he was featured at our local cultural council. He was so proud of his work until some nosy woman made it her business to track down some of the families he featured in his pictures.
These were perfectly innocent and public pieces, like a dad and son fishing or a mom watching her kids on the swings. Several families were flattered and even wanted the pictures, while a few bad apples acted disgusted and dared to suggest my father was a pervert of some kind. We got a lot of community support, but the other negativity has weighed my father and his enthusiasm down. He rarely goes out to look or pick up his art anymore. He just watches TV. This is so frustrating, and I am furious. We were talking about my father holding workshops here, and I was thinking of putting up additional picnic areas so we could have more people over.
He was very depressed when he moved in with me after my mom died, and his health got worse. I had the space, time, and funds while my brother and his family were struggling (my brother’s stepdaughter got pregnant at 16 and is currently pregnant again and sitting in jail). I don’t know what to do here. My husband thinks we just need to give my father time and space, but the unfairness of it all makes me want to spit nails. What do I do here? I feel that if I push or don’t, I will just make things worse.
—Art Lover