Bonus: this is not your childhood

Casadena

Dear Care and Feeding,

I grew up going to Costco with my parents almost every weekend, and my brother and I were pretty much left to do our own thing while our parents shopped. I remember always having the best time: office chair races, sprawling on a massive couch to read books, posting up in front of a huge TV, intercepting my parents to get free samples, bringing random snacks we found to beg them to put them in the cart. These were core childhood memories for me!

Now I’m a parent with kids of my own, and we’ve finally moved to an area with a Costco. I’d like my own kids to have the same experience I had as a kid. They’re 7 and 8, and I think it would be good for them to have some freedom in the warehouse. My wife disagrees. She thinks that it’s really rude to staff and other customers to let our kids “run amok” in the store, and she thinks it was wrong of my parents to let us do it. I don’t see it that way at all. It’s not like our kids are gonna be toppling displays or harassing anyone. I just wonder what you think.

banana468

Your parents were negligent 30 years ago and didn't realize it.

The warehouse clubs I remember in my youth would ask, "Where are your parents" when we wanted samples and that was code for "get with your mom and dad where you belong." 

Costco is a warehouse with items in racks, people driving fork trucks and Saturday shoppers are on the move.  No, your kids should not run off without you to have couch lounging to destroy the floor models, eat the samples or rifle through the books.  

Your wife is right and you need to grow up a lot. 

levioosa

Tell me you've never worked service/retail without telling me. Your parents were assholes, LW, and choosing to do this is both negligent and asshole behavior.

This reminds me of (early on) in our relationship H and I got in an argument where he said he wanted our future kids to be able to draw on walls when they wanted because "his parents didn't care and it was a great creative outlet." Um, absolutely not. There are so many other outlets for artistry and the fact that his parents were too disconnected from their kids does not mean I'm going to let the house we worked hard for become a disgusting mess. 

Casadena

This one too - agree wholeheartedly with PP's but columnist was basically "this is a great opportunity to practice responsibility within limits, try to get to the bottom of your wife's obvious issues". Ridiculous. 

charlotte989875

There’s independence and then there’s acting like assholes and it sounds like your parents let you be the later. Office chair races? Nope, you’re going to crash into someone, something or each other. Lounging on couch that people are there to buy? I wouldn’t want someone else’s feet and dirty hands on a display. 

Now, giving your kids items to go find and bring back? Independence. Giving them $20 and saying they can get whatever they want as long as it’s under $20- math and choices. Teach your kids about shopping and budgeting- not to be entitled feral jerks. 

ei34

My closest in age sister and I used to love when our parents would give us a touch of freedom at Costco, I guess we were around 9 and 10 or so. But it was to walk the aisles, gaze longingly at the huge boxes of Snickers bars, scope out the samples, and find the 1-2 items we’d be asked to bring back to the cart. There was always a 10-15 minute meetup time and place in effect. If we missed it, we wouldn’t have the opportunity on the next Costco trip.

 LW’s description sounds wildly inappropriate and potentially dangerous, and is the reason places have rules about unaccompanied minors. His wife is 100% right. Furthermore, 7 and 8 are kind of young to be roaming free in a huge store anyway, even if they're behaved.  I don't let my middle schoolers too far out of my sight on our Costco trips.  They practice independence in public with frequency, but Costco is enormous and always packed (at least by me).