ESH

Casadena

Dear Prudence,

My wife said not to get her anything for Valentine’s Day, so I didn’t. Now she’s pissed, claiming that I was supposed to get her something regardless of what she said. Considering that she told me in plain English that she didn’t want anything, isn’t she wrong for being angry with me?

—Damned Either Way

banana468

Casadena said:

Dear Prudence,

My wife said not to get her anything for Valentine’s Day, so I didn’t. Now she’s pissed, claiming that I was supposed to get her something regardless of what she said. Considering that she told me in plain English that she didn’t want anything, isn’t she wrong for being angry with me?

—Damned Either Way

Idiot party of one.

No one ever means don't get me anything.  Dude, what she likely meant was don't buy the heart shaped jewelry.   Her favorite flower, favorite sweet and offering to cook dinner would have gone a long way.

Valentine's day isn't a huge thing in our house.  But we acknowledge each other.    Show your partner that you value and love them. 

CharmedPam

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C53J40WLGY7/?hl=en

Casadena

I also assume she meant "no big gifts" ie don't get me jewelry or anything big. But an acknowledgement of some kind is still meaningful. I think this is a fairly simple miscommunication. 

MyNameIsNot

I'm the one who means it when I say don't get me anything. I think valentine's day is stupid and I'd rather H not waste money on overpriced flowers or whatever. 

But I think LW has to look at this in light of the whole marriage. If she's always wanted to celebrate and suddenly said that, he should have at least asked questions. 

levioosa

"Don't get me anything." Okay, so you didn't even write her a nice card or plan to spend time or do a special dinner at home together? Please sir, I have zero sympathy for you. He is the dude that does absolutely nothing on Mother's Day when his wife says "let's not do anything big, just a nice day at home" and then acts shocked when she ends up divorcing him years later. 

ei34

Yup, there's a difference between not buying a big gift, and not acknowledging the holiday at all.  (This year I bought pretty pink tulips a few days before the 14th, they still looked beautiful on V-day, and the kids and I enjoyed heart-shaped foods throughout the day, it was a special without breaking the bank.)