Wedding Woes

White (lie) wedding

My sister, “Kayla,” is getting married in July, and she recently told me something that has left me profoundly disturbed.

Kayla and I have an older sister, “Analise,” whose 7-year-old son, “Jacob,” has Tourette syndrome. Jacob will often have outbursts of profanity in stressful situations. As such, Kayla told me that she told Analise that her wedding is an adults-only affair, when in reality, other guests will be bringing their kids.

Her excuse for lying is that she’s afraid our nephew will do something to spoil the occasion. I think that, in addition to being terribly discriminatory toward a child who has a condition he can’t help, Analise and her husband are going to be incredibly hurt when they attend the wedding and see that other guests were allowed to bring their kids. When I pointed this out to Kayla, she said Analise would “just have to deal with it” at the time. Do I owe my sister a heads-up?

Re: White (lie) wedding

  • Kayla's an idiot and a jerk.  Exactly how did she not think this all the way through?  

    I'm not a huge fan of intruding in scenarios like this but I might let it slip about who you know is attending with their kids. 

    What Kayla's doing is profoundly hurtful to her nephew.  I have no experience with Tourette syndrome but have to believe the feelings of a child are going to be known.  

    Why can't Kayla talk to Analise, mention the concern that a wedding and new environment is stressful, she wants Jacob to be there to celebrate but she's also concerned that the uttered profanity may also disturb other guests particularly in quiet ceremony moments and see if there's a way that someone can stay with Jacob for the ceremony but he can attend the reception? 

    The way this shakes out now, Analise is going to show up to the ceremony and KNOW her kid was excluded. 
  • Kayla is an asshole. Whether or not I'd say anything would depend on my relationships with the two sisters. But this "just going to have to deal with it" is code for "find out how awful I am in a situation where they can't call me out for it." 
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