Dear Prudence,
My mother has a habit of malicious slander. About 18 months ago, my aunt sidled up to me at a party and told me how “brave” I was to stick my husband “after everything.” My mother had told her all about “the affair” with “an underage girl” which, in case you’re wondering, never happened. I very quickly put my aunt straight, mentioned my mother’s habit of lying, told my aunt about some of the lies she had told about her and then … said mom’s lying had gotten so much worse since her GIRD started getting worse. I don’t know why, but that first lie released something in me and I started embellishing my mother’s life. Since then, I’ve told people she’s fallen into the hands of a Nigerian Prince, is being treated for an STD, is hiding an Alzheimer’s diagnosis, had surgery for infected hemorrhoids, and so much more.
Well, it all blew up in my face when an old friend of my mother’s sent her flowers, a book, and a very thoughtful card, and my mother and I had a massive fight in which many harsh words were said. She is now not talking to me, which feels great, but I am getting a lot of blowback from family members, particularly ones that I told stories to. I’ve been apologizing and explaining to them, but it’s still a live issue because my mother is bleating her grievance. Is there any way I can put this nonsense to bed? I know I did wrong, but…