Wedding Woes

Want to blab

Dear Prudence,

When my husband was diagnosed with cancer, he insisted that we tell nobody. He’s a stoic introvert and is horrified by the idea of other people’s sympathy or pity. That’s fine, but I’m a needy extrovert who is terrified of being left alone with three kids. Respecting his wishes means that I can’t lean on my friends and family. I’m desperate to talk with someone who isn’t my therapist. To make things worse, we’re getting a lot of comments about how great he looks. He’s lost a ton of weight and is eating healthy and working out to fight his disease. He’s currently in remission, but it will be a while before we know if he’s all clear. I know my people, and there’s no way this secret will stay that way if I let the cat out of the bag, but it’s been tough and lonely. Do I really have to take this to my grave?

Re: Want to blab

  • Something tells me if the roles were reversed he would be telling everyone to get help and sympathy. 


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  • His diagnosis is his business, but it's not fair to deprive LW of support. The caretaking spouse is going through this too! 

    I wouldn't share details behind his back, but a CTJ "look, I need to tell my bff that we're dealing with some scary stuff and I'm freaking out about trying to hold it all together" would be in order. 
  • levioosa said:
    Something tells me if the roles were reversed he would be telling everyone to get help and sympathy. 
    It's not fair at all to the wife.

    There's a line between strangers asking in church how your prostate is and your wife talking about the things that are concerning her. 
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