Dear Prudence,
My best friend has been going through an incredibly tough couple of years, which have involved them getting dumped, repeating the final year of college, dropping out of college just before exams, and isolating themselves socially, both from our mutual friends and everyone else. They’re currently working a job they dislike, and often tell me that they feel stagnant. Their self-esteem has absolutely tanked, and their ambition has, too. They almost certainly have depression. We’re only in our mid-20s, but they talk as if they have no hope for the future. I’m incredibly concerned for them.
I’ve encouraged them to return to counseling and seek out a career counselor/occupational therapist, but they either aren’t able or aren’t willing. It feels like they’re in a spiral of self-sabotage, and while I try my best to be there for them, I’m very busy with my own life. I’ve tried to loop mutual friends back into the mix, but I can only encourage so much. I love them dearly, and no one deserves to feel like they do. I don’t know how to help bring their hope back.
How would you encourage someone who’s stuck in this cycle? Would I be overstepping if I sent them a list of therapists and career counselors? I don’t know what to do outside of just being there for them, and I don’t feel like that’s been enough. I live a city over, but there have been points where I make a last-minute sprint up for the weekend, have a mutual friend pop over, or check in with their mom.