Share traumatic experience or keep quiet?

Casadena

I am in my early 50s, a wife and mother of two college-age girls and a son about to enter high school. My first sexual experience in my early 20s was a rape. I thought that I could “deal” with the trauma by myself, but after three years, I had a nervous breakdown. It has been a long road to true healing. With medications, therapy, and my faith, I am in a wonderful place. I want to know if I should share my experience with my daughters because I believe that it would answer many questions that they might have regarding my behavior when they were growing up. They are both mature, and I am very close to both of them. Should I wait longer to share this with them?

—Should I Share Now or Wait?

levioosa

This seems like something to discuss with a therapist. As the daughter of a mother who has overshared many personal things, I don’t have an answer. Does it give context? Sure. And I for sure have empathy for the fact the my mother is human and has had horrible experiences that shaped her. But I do hope you know it doesn’t change the past or heal wounds that were created by your own. What is your goal here? 

banana468

levioosa said:

This seems like something to discuss with a therapist. As the daughter of a mother who has overshared many personal things, I don’t have an answer. Does it give context? Sure. And I for sure have empathy for the fact the my mother is human and has had horrible experiences that shaped her. But I do hope you know it doesn’t change the past or heal wounds that were created by your own. What is your goal here? 

All of this.  I don't know that you need to share all past traumas and it's likely something best unpacked with a professional.