Wedding Woes

karma's a B

My 25-year-old daughter “Anna” is getting married in June, and I just found out something terrible I thought I’d left safely in the past.

Fifteen years ago, I cheated on my wife. We’d been having a lot of issues getting along and I slept with a co-worker, “Jenny,” who was about to move away due to her husband getting a better-paying job out of state. I assumed it would be a one-off thing, and my wife would never find out. Thing is, we ended up hitting it off so well that she would fly in to see me several times a year, and I would fly over to where she was. Eventually my wife discovered what was going on and nearly divorced me over it. Ultimately, we were able to save our marriage, but the scars remain.

What does this have to do with Anna, you wonder?

It turns out that Jenny is none other than her fiancé “Jim’s” mother! My wife and I have yet to meet Jim’s parents because they live across the country, but I recently saw a pic on Anna’s phone she took of her with him and his parents, and I am absolutely certain it’s her.
We’re supposed to meet with Jim’s parents at the rehearsal dinner next month and I have no idea what to do. Should I keep my mouth shut and hope my wife doesn’t recognize Jenny after all this time? Contact Jenny and warn her? Her husband never knew about us, and I am terrified of her life getting blown up if my wife does recognize her and causes a scene. Please help!

Re: karma's a B

  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Oh no what will you do.

    I mean, at this point can't you at least get her name??   If you do, contact her and should you want to leave things in the past then do it.   I'm not saying all secrets need to be out in the open but if you want them to stay buried FFS get certainty who you're about to deal with. 
  • This feels like MUD to me. But first thing first, you have to tell your wife. 
  • ei34ei34 member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Do you have a way of contacting Jenny to make absolutely sure?

    If it is true, I think that all of the adults (yes, including Anna and Jim) should be made aware before the wedding festivities begin.  A rehearsal dinner shock should be avoided at all costs.  
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