No is a full sentence

Casadena

Dear Prudence, 

My sister, “Beatrice,” thinks she’s a great singer. The reality is that she sets off car alarms and makes nearby dogs howl with her voice. I’m getting married in August, and Beatrice has been lobbying my fiancé and me to let her sing at the wedding. When I told her no, she threw a huge tantrum and dragged our parents into it. She’s their precious golden child, and now I’m getting it from all sides.

I really don’t want the occasion to be marred or to have my sister humiliate herself in front of everyone, but if I stand my ground, I’ll never hear the end of it. My fiancé says to let her do it, and we can always tell people she was drunk. At this point, is that all I can really do?

—Discretion Is Advised

MyNameIsNot

I'd be really tempted to just let her do it and embarrass herself. If I was feeling particularly mean, I'd be sure it's caught on video that somehow turns into a viral horrible singers tiktok. 

banana468

IMO it's a pick and choose your battles thing depending.

A good friend got married 21 years go.  Her MIL sang the Wedding Song.  It was clear she wanted to sing, had done so at her other child's wedding and by letting her sing at the ceremony, it was a bone to throw.

My expectations were low and she was AWFUL.  But I also had a lot of respect for my friend who loved her husband enough to say it wasn't worth the battle and then she wasn't going to wreck the reception. 

ei34

I'd be digging my heels into the ground if this was a racist, maga sister known to spew hate demanding to give a toast.  But I've been to a couple weddings where a family member who felt they were more talented than they actually were (to put it politely) got up to sing a song.  Not an evening-ruined kind of thing.  I get LW's annoyance for sure but personally, wouldn't start WW3 with my parents and sister over it.

charlotte989875

Yah I mean I’d definitely want to say no, and LW is perfectly right to do that, and she can’t control her sisters reaction. So deal with the 3 minutes of off key Seasons Of Love or deal with her being bummed and telling your parents all about it.

downtondiva

Is she lobbying to sing at the ceremony or the reception? While you're well within your rights to say no to either, and I wouldn't let her sing at the ceremony, letting her sing one song (and one song only) at the reception may go a long way to getting her and your parents off your back. A few minutes of bad singing won't mar the whole day (who knows if people will even really be paying attention?), and if she's as bad a singer as you say, it will most likely reflect poorly on her with your guests rather than on you. Just something to consider.