why do you care what they think?

Casadena

Dear Prudence, 

I’m planning to move abroad from the U.S. in a couple of years to get my doctorate. This is something I’ve already decided on and am actively arranging my life and financial goals around. However, whenever I’ve casually floated the idea of doing this, my family and friends have largely reacted in a way that implies I’m being hysterical for wanting to leave the country.

I try to tell them I would have wanted to do this even without the current government insanity, but I can’t deny that it has at least added a sense of urgency. I simply do not feel safe here anymore, between being part of a group the government is actively targeting (transgender people), and wanting good health care and not having to worry as much about gun violence. How do I get across the message that my plan to leave is reasonable, or, failing that, have a line to get them off my back?

MyNameIsNot

Here's the thing, you can't. You've told them what you plan to do. They don't like it or don't think you're serious or whatever. You're an adult, you get to do it anyway. 

So just stop talking to them about it. Make your plans, do your applications, arrange your move. Then invite them to the going away party. 

banana468

If you've done the research just say you have.

I think the reality is that people ask questions because plenty of people talk about how things will be so much better with a change but they haven't researched the change and what it requires.  If you have, move on and let their questions roll off your back. 

levioosa

Do what is best for you. Do it soon. Don't talk to your family about it. 

ei34

Your family and friends don't have to understand it.  Your reasons make complete sense and it sounds like you've taking all the right steps - best of luck!