My older son recently married his longtime partner. Their wedding was attended by 100-plus, and a good time was had by all. My sister and brother-in-law, who belong to a very rigid, judgmental church, refused to attend. Rather than politely declining, they found it necessary to send my son a hateful email, filled with vitriolic comments about the evils of homosexuality, and why they couldn’t be involved in such a travesty. Needless to say, they caused some hurt feelings. Now my younger son has announced his engagement, and wedding plans are underway.
Younger son has told me privately that my sister and BIL will not be invited to his wedding. He said that if they couldn’t celebrate my older son’s love, why should they be invited to celebrate his? While I can definitely see his point, I’m afraid excluding them will cause more hurt and resentment, and I’ve urged him to take the high road and invite them. So far he is standing firm, but his wedding isn’t until next year and things could change. I asked his fiancée if she agreed with his decision, and she said, “Mom, I think I should stay out of this one.” Should I let it go? If my younger son stands firm in his decision, should I let my sister and BIL know that they will not be invited and why? I’m already dreading the holidays because of the way they treated my older son and his husband, and I fear it’s all going to get worse before it gets better.
—Son’s Wedding