Wedding Woes

dog disgruntled

Dear Prudence,

My boyfriend “Ryan” and I are on the verge of breaking up over a “gift” he gave me that he knew I didn’t want.

Ryan and I have been together for a little over two years, and in all that time I was always very clear that I never wanted any surprise gifts in the form of animals without being consulted first. Ryan is a dog person; I am not. For my 27th birthday last month, I woke up to find his gift for me in our bed: a husky puppy. I have a friend who owns this breed of dog, so I know how much work they require. We ended up in a big fight that culminated with me telling him I was leaving that day if he didn’t return the puppy to the breeder. He grudgingly complied, but things have been chilly between us since. Ryan claimed that his expectation was that I would see how great having a dog is once I’d “had a chance to live the experience.” I feel like what he did was a major betrayal since I was up front with him from the beginning. Is this something we can work through, or would it be better to move on without him?

Re: dog disgruntled

  • levioosalevioosa member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Yes, this is as deep as you feel it is. Ryan bought a dog for Ryan, not for you. And a labor intensive dog at that. He didn't take your thoughts, feelings or opinions into account, he outright ignored them and prioritized his own needs. You also seem semi open to the idea of a pet, but one with discussion, planning and personalized engagement with choosing. Which is a logical way to bring a living thing into your household. 


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  • Ryan's a jerk.

    I would be very close to ending it if he continues this charade that the dog was a gift to you.  
  • Don't stay with someone who so blatantly disregards your wants and needs. Ryan is an immature manipulator, and I don't see things getting better with him.

    I am very much a dog person, but I would not be happy to be surprised with one as a gift. And I certainly would never spring one on my husband, who is not a dog person. A pet is something that both parties should discuss and agree on beforehand.
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  • A dog is not a toy. You can't be a dog person and think it's ok to spring one on someone who isn't excited to raise one. 
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