trying to get the keys

Casadena

Dear Prudence, I am at my wits’ end over what to do about my 82-year-old mother. Several days ago, I received a call from one of her friends who goes bowling with her. He said he follows her home after they finish each time (unbeknownst to her) to make sure she gets back safely, and this past time, he saw something that concerned him. She was weaving all over the road. I’ve had my concerns about her driving for the last year; she recently took out my mailbox when she came to visit my family. Her excuse was that she was putting away her phone and was distracted. My previous conversations with her, requesting that she get her driving skills checked, have resulted in her becoming furious and accusing me of trying to take away her independence. Now I’m dreading that I’ll be getting a call in the near future that she’s been in an accident and she’s injured or killed herself and/or someone else. Is there some way I can compel her to be evaluated before there’s a tragedy?

levioosa

You can report concern to the DMV directly and to her doctor. But it is nearly impossible to change most people's minds about their safety and driving, especially as they age. And in all fairness, losing your license is a huge loss of independence and life paradigm shift, so I understand the impulse to hang on, but it's also not just one person at risk.