awkward not ambivalent

Casadena

Dear Prudence,

I’m writing for advice about my close friend of three years. When we met, “Alicia” was secular, but then she found faith. I’m glad she’s on the right path for her. However, lately, she’s been talking more about theology. I don’t know how to respond. It’s not quite evangelism, but it’s still awkward.

She’ll make a remark about how X belief is heretical, or how Y belief is true, and so on. Usually, I respond with “hmm” or “interesting!” and change the subject. (We’re long-distance friends, primarily communicating via text.) She seems hurt by this, but I don’t know what else to say! If I agree with her, I’d be lying, but telling her the truth would be unkind, since the truth is that I find speaking like this strange. (My religious community doesn’t proselytize, so maybe it’s a different mindset.) I want to keep this friendship while remaining authentic to myself. Please help!

banana468

"I appreciate that your faith is important to you.  My faith is important to me to and sometimes when you talk about the things you say as ultimate truth it feels like my beliefs are somehow lesser than. "

This may be a friendship that winds its course.

downtondiva

You don't have to tell her that you think her talking about her faith is strange to convey that you don't wish to keep having these conversations. I think you can instead tell her that, coming from a different faith, her method of conveying her beliefs makes you feel uncomfortable and like you cannot express herself, and that if she wants to talk about faith, it needs to be done differently. I don't know how she'll take it, but that's the best option I can think of that isn't just continuing what you've been doing. 

That said, I also suggest you give some thought as to what makes you want to keep this friendship. What's made it worth putting up with all this so far, and is it worth the risks that may come with having a conversation with her about how her faith talk is making you feel?

short+sassy

Soooo...she's "hurt" because she's disparaging other people's beliefs and religions and the LW isn't being enthusiastic enough about that.  How sad for her//s.