Remembering a Loved One

JPaw5587

My father passed away when I was younger and as the years have gone by my mother has recently re-married. Although he is a wonderful guy, makes my mom very happy, and I care for him a lot he will never replace my father. He will be walking me down the asile the day of my wedding but I still wish to honor my father. I ordered a memorial candle and a vase which I will put a single white rose in, but is there anything else I can do. I really like the idea of leaving a rose on a chair where he would have sat but I think that is wrong considering the circumstances. I just feel like I should be doing more.

[Deleted User]

You can choose to say something in your program. In Memory: and list their names. That is what we are doing with grandparents that have passed.

mehgank

My cousin was killed last summer (she and I were only 9 months apart and were like sisters growing up), so I'm going to have a memorial candle with a card in a frame that says "For those we have loved and lost along the way, a flame to remember you here today". Not sure where we're going to place it, possibly on the table with the guest book & programs.

trix1223

I'm not a fan of the empty chair thing.  It's just so "in your face" and focuses attention, IMO, on the emptiness.  My mom died 3 weeks to the day before my DD's wedding, and they were very,  very close.

And empty chair would have upset me, my dad, and the rest of my family.  We preferred to focus on mom being with us in spirit.  DD wore a pair of her earrings, and kept a yellow rose on her sweetheart table.

In addition, my SIL's dad died 9 months before the wedding.  They were also very low-key and subtle in remembering him.

My DIL's dad had died when she was about 11, and she preferred nothing on her wedding day, as she knew it would make her too sad on what was the happiest day of her life.

I just really prefer something personal to the bride and groom and not something stark and off-putting for the guests.  But everyone deals with grief in their own way.

missy68

I had charms/items that belonged to my grandparents and my great aunt, and my husband's mother tucked into my bouquet. I could see them, they showed in photos of the bouquet, and it was like they were there (my grandmothers were not deceased, but not able to be there so they sent trinkets as well).

kristinanddan

We had a candle on the altar in memory of my sister, but only because we were married on what would have been her 22nd birthday. I had a flower tucked deeply into my bouquet that was from my grandfather's funeral a few months before, but no one knew it was there. We also had the following in our programs at the end of the 'thank you' section:

We also pause to remember all of our family and friends who are no longer with us.  They are here today in spirit, and are always in our hearts. “Celebrate we will, ‘cause life is short but sweet for certain.”

 

Catwoman708

I am not a big fan of the trend to do memorials at weddings.  So many people do it because "everyone else is doing it", not because it truly means somehting to them personally. 

I'm sorry about your dad.   It's understandable that you want to do something, make some gesture to make you feel he's with you in spirit on your wedding day.  I hope I don't sound cold or dismissive of your feelings, but I feel if you truly "needed" to do this, for yourself, you wouldn't have to be asking for ideas on how to do that.

Your mom and step dad would probably understand a small, discrete token of affection for your dad who is no longer with you.  Like the flower or a candle, maybe a photo mixed in with other family photos, or a mention in the program.  But anything more obvious might be not be in the best of taste.

joecel2010

I had a friend who added some wooden roses into her bouquet in memory of loved ones such as friends and grandparents that had passed then wrote  little note on the bottom on the program saying that she was carrying wooden roses in her bouquet in memory of.... it was really thoughtful.

CA2MT4EveR

What Trix said.

desrosiersl

we're having a memory bouquet with  photo his mother on the bench at the ceremony, and then we'll move it to the reception area as well. 

budvar1012

I've bought a small photo buckle for my bouquet, it will hold a little photo of my mum so I can sort of keep her with me. She died two years ago this May but I want her there with us in some way; the other women in my family all thought it was a really nice way to have her there. My  neice is going to use it for her wedding, as well.

Maladroit

We still aren't sure what to do for ours.  My Fiance's brother died 2 years ago, since I had never met Jay, I left it up to Ross and his mom to decide what would be appropriate.  They are leaning towards just a note in the program, nothing that will blatently remind them of his absence.  I'm happy to oblige any decision they make, whatever it may be.  I don't feel I should have any say in that decision, I will just support them in theirs.

Cray.anita

FI's mom passed away recently.  When I was meeting with the florist she suggested adding a little purple to my bouquet (it was FI's mom's favorite color). We added it to my bouquet (not the other attendants) and to FI's & FI's dad's bout and his grandma's corsage.  the flower color I ended up picking was names "Deborah" which was FI's mom's name.  We are leaning towards maybe not even making a nate in the program, the people who matter will know what it is for.

chestr22

I dont think of what we are doing is a trend, but my mom and both of FI's parents have passed. These are three of the most influential people in our lives. So what we are doing is I made replicas of both the mothers bouquets from theirs weddings. My mothers best friends will be carrying hers and fI's sister is going to carry their moms. At the beginning of the ceremony we are having them bring them up, and FI and I will place them on their chairs. We also having our officiant read a poem I found way before it started making its wayaround Facebook. Then after that, we move on and the sad part is over with.

ipwtfa91

The most meaningful idea I've seen was one I saw somewhere on here on the knot, I believe. I wrote about it in this post: http://ngw12.blogspot.com/2009/12/wedding-visions.html

My other pictures got deleted, but this one is still up.

This woman's father died prior to her wedding day, so she attached pictures of him to her shoes so that he literally "walked her down the aisle."

I'm doing something similar, and wearing a locket bracelet with a picture of my Grandma and Grandpa, both deceased. I also like the idea of a memory table with pictures, candles, etc. The locket is perfect for me though, because it makes me feel like they'll be there with me.
I love it...I look at it all the time, and it brings tears to my eyes now and then, and smiles at other times.