bridesmaid VENT

hollycase

So the wedding is in 3 months......

1. I had to pay the deposit for all 3 bridesmaid dresses yesterday (they've had a month to pay it and never did). One girl said she paid a week ago but they had nothing on file. One girl called and said she couldn't afford it and asked if I could cover it and she'd get a check into me within the week (which I understand and am grateful she at least told me - made it much easier). The third girl never contacted me/returned my messages and called me after I had asked for the money to be in. I also had to pay the $60 to rush deliver the dresses because 2 girls are out of state and may need alterations.

2. The groom's Mom contacted me yesterday about a shower at her church. I called my mom about it seeing about the girls' plans for a shower on my Mom's side... NOTHING. She hasn't heard a peep and said she's not in charge of it being planned. She also hasn't heard anything about a bachelorette party. Did I mention the wedding is in 3 months?

Just sucks... I love my friends a whole lot but I feel like they're adding to the wedding stress rather than helping me or making it fun and it's kind of hurtful. And no, they haven't helped me plan a single thing.

I feel like I sound like a whiny bridezilla but come on... if you agree to be a bridesmaid, BE ONE!

Ok. Vent complete.

Is this normal? Have any of you guys been experiencing this? And if so, what did you do??? I feel like I want to call them out but know it won't help at all and wish a close friend or family member would get up and say something..

amy40311

I totally feel you! I've been planning this whole thing by myself. I'm not even sure if I'm having a bridal shower/bachelorette party because I don't know whose planning it! Your friends should know that this is your moment and do everything they can to make it memorable and as stress-free as possible for you. I'm sorry this is happening, but if it makes you feel any better you're not alone!

mtsookasem

I'm so sorry to hear that! That is awful

Is is their first time being a bridesmaid? Some people just don't get it/don't understand what they are supposed to do. I think you should say something, as nicely as possible. Also, some people just aren't good at helping others and need to be told what to do .

One of my bridesmaids has been helping even without me asking her (checking on cakes, salons, etc). Another one of my bridesmaids hasn't done a thing - and I did basically anything she needed for her wedding. I am not offended b/c I realize she is the type that needs to be told, rather than taking initiative. Does that make sense?

I still feel really bad for you b/c that is beyond crappy that you have to pay for their dress deposits! Unbelievable!

younge bride 101

my friends do not help me at all! honestly its been my mom and grandma... it frusterating but just try to not let it get to you... just think in three months you will be marrying the man that yo love, and thats what this is all about

hollycase

Thank you all SO much - not only for the awesome advice and things to keep in mind, but just for holding some space and letting me get that out. I wish I didn't have to vomit that negativity out there but man... I was just like "what's going on?!"

I talked to the MOH yesterday and basically asked when they're doing the shower so I know not to overlap with my mother-in-law's plans, and she admitted they haven't planned anything but she wants to do one when she comes into town in the beginning of February. Sounds like we are going to finalize her trip tomorrow night and then she can go ahead with planning the event.

Meanwhile, I was so blessed to have a friend invite me over last night to get me through some plans and she helped TREMENDOUSLY! Her sister is also getting married so it helped the sister a bunch too. My friend also has claimed throwing me the lingerie party... I feel bad now not having her as a bridesmaid with everything she's doing, but maybe there's a role I can have her do on the day of?

You ladies are awesome. Thanks so much for the awesome reminder that it's all about my fiance and I in the end.

STBMrsDavis

It's so comforting to know I'm not alone! I feel your pain -- my bridesmaids are nowhere to be found. I've been going at it alone and have been BEYOND stressed because of the issues that keep coming up and my groom is the most supportive one.

MTSOOK is right -- some girls just have to be told what to do -- which is frustating because you don't want to be one of THOSE brides, but I feel like nothing would get done otherwise. I'm 2 months away and I'm still in it alone. Not once do my girls ask how things are going, if they can help, or any such of the sort. Even two of my girls, after I have asked them (since they can't seem to do it on their own) -- are like OH YEAH!!! TOTALLY and then never do....

How do you ladies keep from going insane!!!