yes, i know the towers has no AC

i2012do

Sorry I have to vent. But i am so annoyed and in a bad mood over a stupid comment last nigt.
EVERY Single time I tell someone i am getting married at the Towers they say something liek "i went to a wedding there is was SO HOT inside" or "did you know there are ONLY windows, no ac"

Last night I went out to meet a friend for a drink, a friend of hers who I have known since I was young came. I always thought this girl was kind of a huge B but everyone siad "shes nice if you get to know her' and i know she is going through a hard time (she just broke off her engagement)
So she asked me where I was getting married- and i said "the Towers" and she goes "IN the summer. YOU DO KNOW there is no AC there RIGHT"
like no, i didintknow that and i spent $3000 to book the place.
like , yes i knew it.

It made me so mad that i had to post this vent.

I don't understand WHY EVERYONE feels the need to say there is no AC.
there are no ac a lot of places, glen manor, regatta place, if you do a tent on the North Lawn, etcetc, botanical center. let me go on

musictchr25

OMG, did you know there is NO AC?!?!

I'm just kidding. I totally get your vent. People are saying something similar to me with me booking the RWBC, which also has no AC. Stuff along the lines of "you better hope that it's not a scorcher that day" and stuff.  

They just are those people who always find the negatives in things. Don't bother with them. It's not worth it.

URIsweethearts

my venue - ABC will have AC but i TOTALLY hear you on the fact of everyone's opinions. this has been the crappiest week i think i've had planning wise since we were trying to find a venue in the very beginning - which was a nightmare in itself. i am TIRED of everyones opinions. at this rate - we wont be having a rehearsal dinner and ppl will be eating dirt haha.

i2012do

I know how you feel about the rehearsal dinner. I have a whoel other vent about that that my FFIL who lives 3000 miles away and has never been to RI has a million opinions on where it should be....

I just do't get it do people NOT know its rude to do that? and say things liek that?
I had a pretty horrible week this week, i thought our transportation sh!t the bed, my mom and i are fighitng over florists and on top of it i am running around like an insane person trying to get ready to go to China for 2 weeks....OY
i mean seriously. i wanted to be like "you knowi always thought u were a total bytch and now i REALLY think it"

my friend talked me off a ledge and was liek "shes just jealous cuz she was supposed to be getting married and it got called off and shes upset"

URIsweethearts

omg totally had a cry session to my MOH on wednesday night. nightmare with the guest list and shower. i am so over planning. and i hate when i feel this way -of just wanting this to be over. work is stressing me out. i feel so shaky all the time. ugh i hope I can get back on track  -i have sunday off - FI is going to a work thing - so I will be home alone and will prob sleep the whole day - i cant wait haha

LOMLBOAT

I hear you on people not being able to keep their mouths shut about wedding.  It seems like everyone (married, not married, sea turtle) has an opinion or advice, or an AMAZING idea, or some AMAZING advice on what to stay away from and I get it, everyone wants to be a part of the planning and thinks they can help or they will have that one thing that makes your day.  But honestly I just want to tell people to back off!  I feel like I have to be nice and say 'Oh yeah that's a great idea' or 'yeah I'll think about it', but honestly, IT'S MY WEDDING, just leave me alone, come, shut up and say you had a blast lol.

It is tough especially when it's close (or not so close) friends and family.  Weddings are tough and at the end of the day, I want to support from the people we care about that we made the right decision, but this is our time/day and you do not have to say negative comments, including the ridiculously obvious ones.

My biggest pet peeve.....it goes by so fast, don't stress, things will go wrong, just have fun.  UM HELLO - I'm not naiive that I am the only person in the world that something won't go wrong, but that doesn't mean I don't want to try and avoid a disaster.  And yes, wedding planning, no matter how much help you have, IT IS GOING TO BE STRESSFUL, but it's also wonderful, so don't give me BS about relaxing.  this is an important day and I want it to be special.

sorry for hijacking your vent i2012do , but it just feels good.  Instead of a post about giving advice that you've learned, we should have a sticky post about all the HORRIBLE things people have said! lol

i2012do

I think this can be the offical "venting over stupid crap people say"

One lady that I met at the GYM told me she went to a wedding at the towers and it was so hot no one ate and everyone got too drunk trying to stay cool and drink cold stuff- and that the wedding cake was so hot it melted and fell on the floor.
THANKS< AWESOME story!

how about saying "what a gorgeous location, youll have a beautiful Day"

i really seriously LOL'd so loud when i read "married, unmarried,sea turtle"

uri- i am sorry about your Rehs. dinner. I seriously am hanging over the reigns, if it totally sucks and is tacky than i can say "oh i didint even have a part in planning it- DIDNT they do an awesome job?!"

narragansettbride

OMG i totally hear you!!! I am getting marrid in august at the towers and whenever i tell someone that is the first thing they say!!  No s**t thanks for the info.  except last night i FINALLY talkd to someone and they said "its amazing and i've been there in the summer on a hot day and with the windows open its so beautiful, not hot at all."  THANK GOD!!!! so i really appreciate your vent

LOMLBOAT

I haaate when people give you nightmare stories about raining, or the priest not showing up or something.  I want to say to them "Do you like stealing candy from babies too?  Maybe if I fall you can kick me in the kidney?"  Geesh - how do people not have common sense?

I lol'd writing it, I just needed to make my point that some people have no idea what they are talking about, but think they do.

sheilbeil123

i like this vent! I think sometimes we need to get it out...  this is sort of unrelated but I made my choice for BMs last weekend, and it wasnt what i had envisioned in the beginning but i kept and open mind and im happy with the choice. I could have spend months looking for BM dresses, so I made a decision and went with it. I was proud of myself because im usually indecisive!  And after the deposits were already made, dresses being ordered, my mother was like "are you SURE thats what you want to do, because you didnt really seem thrilled about the color and its not what you told me you wanted a few months ago". No one should be allowed to make you second guess decisions that HAVE ALREADY BEEN MADE!

LOMLBOAT

shelibeil123 - this is another one mothers do!!!  They always make you second guess after you've put the money down!  My mom had so much fun having me try on wedding dresses, after I tried on over 50, we finally bought one.  Then she kept sending me emails with different dresses!

RoyalOrient

I am sorry Jennifer, there will always be party poppers or debbie downers. These people never have anything nice to say so they go out of their way to find flaws. A few of my husband's extended family gave me grief for wanting to have an outdoor ceremony on the beach. Asian people are afraid to tan...they requested I provide them sun parasols should they have to sit outside too long in the sun. I was really annoyed and these same people later complained to us about the open bar because I didn't provide sour apple pucker schnapps. I was really mad because it was an open bar and I provided plenty of options and really quality stuff. The fact that I don't drink made me wonder if I should have spent that money on myself! 

Anyways, I take it queen B is just jealous because she won't be having a wedding or she is taking it out on you because she is going through a tough time. 

i2012do

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_rhode-island_yes-i-know-the-towers-has-no-ac?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:122Discussion:3d277c04-2ea8-4143-91ef-5ec10c23b4a1Post:3de283f7-72e6-47cb-8de4-ab9ad6eabbf5">Re: yes, i know the towers has no AC</a>:
[QUOTE]I am sorry Jennifer, there will always be party poppers or debbie downers. These people never have anything nice to say so they go out of their way to find flaws. A few of my husband's extended family gave me grief for wanting to have an outdoor ceremony on the beach. Asian people are afraid to tan...they requested I provide them sun parasols should they have to sit outside too long in the sun. I was really annoyed and these same people later complained to us about the open bar because<strong> I didn't provide sour apple pucker schnapps. I was really mad because it was an open bar</strong> and I provided plenty of options and really quality stuff. The fact that I don't drink made me wonder if I should have spent that money on myself!  Anyways, I take it queen B is just jealous because she won't be having a wedding or she is taking it out on you because she is going through a tough time. 
Posted by RoyalOrient[/QUOTE]

WHAT?! This seems like the most obscure thing to have at a bar. I have not had sour apple pucker since I did an ice luge in college--- Did they want apple martinis?
You know what  NOTHING is ever enough for the debbie downers you are right. If you didn't have open bar they'd complain and then they complaint hat you don't have what they want to drink.

I think the worst of all the complainers are the COMPLETE strangers that have a comment on something.
Like, the guy at the tux shop that told me that EVERY tux he gets back from a towers wedding is "Soaked in sweat" like WHEN is he getting the tuxes back? 5 minutes after the groomsmen take them off.
and b the wy. I AM GOING TO BE THE HOTTEST ONE in the room. I am the one wearing a dress will crinoline that is long to the floor and undergarments that are seemingly from 1860- so don't complain to <ME!

URIsweethearts

i just want to say i love this thread. im glad others are stressing as much as me. in a weird way it makes me feel better!

bells24412

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_rhode-island_yes-i-know-the-towers-has-no-ac?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:122Discussion:3d277c04-2ea8-4143-91ef-5ec10c23b4a1Post:cc76b886-5dcd-4cda-a6b2-4dec92dc7006">Re: yes, i know the towers has no AC</a>:
[QUOTE]I hear you on people not being able to keep their mouths shut about wedding.  It seems like everyone (married, not married, sea turtle) has an opinion or advice, or an AMAZING idea, or some AMAZING advice on what to stay away from and I get it, everyone wants to be a part of the planning and thinks they can help or they will have that one thing that makes your day.  But honestly I just want to tell people to back off!  I feel like I have to be nice and say 'Oh yeah that's a great idea' or 'yeah I'll think about it', but honestly, IT'S MY WEDDING, just leave me alone, come, shut up and say you had a blast lol. It is tough especially when it's close (or not so close) friends and family.  Weddings are tough and at the end of the day, I want to support from the people we care about that we made the right decision, but this is our time/day and you do not have to say negative comments, including the ridiculously obvious ones. My biggest pet peeve.....it goes by so fast, don't stress, things will go wrong, just have fun.  UM HELLO - I'm not naiive that I am the only person in the world that something won't go wrong, but that doesn't mean I don't want to try and avoid a disaster.  And yes, wedding planning, no matter how much help you have, IT IS GOING TO BE STRESSFUL, but it's also wonderful, so don't give me BS about relaxing.  this is an important day and I want it to be special. sorry for hijacking your vent i2012do :(, but it just feels good.  Instead of a post about giving advice that you've learned, we should have a sticky post about all the HORRIBLE things people have said! lol
Posted by LOMLBOAT[/QUOTE]

I hear you! I have had people tell me that they have to go to McDonald's before heading to my Reception(Quidnessett) because they don't provide enough food. WTF?! who does that? What do you expect an 20 course meal?!?!

LOMLBOAT

OMG that is horrendous!  I do not know how I would have responded to that.  I think I would have laughed and told them that if they think McD's is a better alternative to Quid, then don't bother choking down the food I'm PAYING for you to eat.  Ungrateful.

bean6687

At the risk of being accused of being a vender, I think that it may be time to let you all in on a little secret. I am getting married at the Towers on June 2nd, and I would also like to tell everyone that I work there. I feel as though all these postings highlight one of the biggest oncers I hear most often. I work there all summer long, and I must be truthful. The room does get warm - I wouldn't say hot. lf it is a warmday, we will open the windows prior to the event. However, 99% of all weddings happen after 4pm - at which time it starts to cool down. There are fans running all the time (on the ceiling) and there are tremendous cross breezes through the windows.

In all honesty, there would be no other place I would have both my ceremony and reception. I am hoping that no one will take it the wrong way with me giving advice about the venue and being able to answer questions. I am both a fellow bride and a resource for Towers brides. To all of you, no stress

-Kira

RoyalOrient

^ no worries, we have brides on here who work in the wedding industry. In fact, your knowledge gives us invaluable insight into weddings. Any input or feedback is definitely welcomed! 

RoyalOrient

Bells24412,

Ok Mcdonald's? WTF Really? Do these people realize how down right rude it is to say something like that to a bride! Some people have a lot of nerve. I don't even understand the logic behind that! How did you even respond?

RoyalOrient

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_rhode-island_yes-i-know-the-towers-has-no-ac?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:122Discussion:3d277c04-2ea8-4143-91ef-5ec10c23b4a1Post:ac8b3856-5b69-4506-895d-27738454ee28">Re: yes, i know the towers has no AC</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: yes, i know the towers has no AC : WHAT?! This seems like the most obscure thing to have at a bar. I have not had sour apple pucker since I did an ice luge in college--- Did they want apple martinis? You know what  NOTHING is ever enough for the debbie downers you are right. If you didn't have open bar they'd complain and then they complaint hat you don't have what they want to drink. I think the worst of all the complainers are the COMPLETE strangers that have a comment on something. Like, the guy at the tux shop that told me that EVERY tux he gets back from a towers wedding is "Soaked in sweat" like WHEN is he getting the tuxes back? 5 minutes after the groomsmen take them off. and b the wy. I AM GOING TO BE THE HOTTEST ONE in the room. I am the one wearing a dress will crinoline that is long to the floor and undergarments that are seemingly from 1860- so don't complain to <ME!
Posted by i2012do[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Yeah it took every fiber of my very being not to snap back at them with something mean and nasty! I took the high road for my husband's sake because I am usually mouthy lol. I also didn't want them to ruin my special day. One of my DOC reminded me to just brush it off and I did. </div><div>
</div><div>I agree that it is worst when it is an absolute stranger who says something negative usually in a very rude manner too. It's like who ask you for your opinion.</div><div>Anyways I know you'll be the hottest one there  <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-wink.gif" border="0" alt="Wink" title="Wink" />  Muy Caliente!

</div>

Eyejewel

This is a good venting thread.

When we were looking at Kinney Bungalow thats all i kept hearing about is there is no ac. We ended up going with another place that does have ac, but people still go august wow that will be hot! Kinney didn t have enough capacity for our guestlist.

I agree with week from hell. Im trying to do way too much but big nightmare shower planning problems. I thought my mother was going to have a hard attack saying she was having chest pains over the stress of planning. Noone could decide on a date everyone was fighting, FSIL was chewing my mom out so my mom chewed her and others out. Everyone had their opinion of when they couldnt do it but nobody wanted to find a date that worked. One of my BM needs to fly in from FL and they were making her change her vacation a million times, wanted her to fly back way too many times and pay for all the extra flights cause it was convient for them. Then my MOH did not commiuncate she was on vacation when everyone picked a date and my mom was putting a deposit down. The email telling her about the vacation was in spam. Needless it was a mess and I had to step in cause MOH (which hasnt been really talking to me much) was trying to make the shower in early may when im working the weekends 6/7 days a week.

I thought I was going to lose it...thankfully i felt like i could breathe when mom said date held/deposit done. Now i have to return to my wedding planning as all the drama derailed me.

dberrett

I'd love to tell you all not to listen to it and all the BS, but I know from experience that it's REALLY hard to ignore. And, I'd love to tell you that it gets better and stops the day of, but, in my experience, it doesn't!
Before our nuptials I heard some of the same comments you all went through - I'm a Regatta Place bride. They were all crappy comments, I got upset, but went ahead and did what I wanted to anyway. It is your day, and no one can take that from you! But the reall a$$ kicker was the night of the wedding! I wish I could tell you I was kidding, but I'm not.
Our reception ended at 9PM, so we had an after party in a hotel room suite. Everyone was drinking and hanging out (so much fun). One of my hubby's really good friend's fiancee, whom I also know pretty well, came up to me and commented that her chicken at dinner was a little dry!!!! I almost fell over. She didn't even soften it with, Oh, this was really nice, or that was lovely... Nope, bluntly stated that her chicken was dry. I wanted to smack her. Who does that?!!?! I don't care how drunk you are, that's no excuse to say that to the bride on her wedding night. I'm sorry to say that I'll never forget that. I'm working on the forgiving part...
So no, it doesn't get any better. But at the end of the day, I married my mate, and we couldn't be happier. Screw anybody who's petty enough to rain on your parade. They aren't worth your emotions nor time.

bells24412

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_rhode-island_yes-i-know-the-towers-has-no-ac?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:122Discussion:3d277c04-2ea8-4143-91ef-5ec10c23b4a1Post:dc8fbdd0-6b27-4d86-9743-de92a9bd5680">Re: yes, i know the towers has no AC</a>:
[QUOTE]Bells24412, Ok Mcdonald's? WTF Really? Do these people realize how down right rude it is to say something like that to a bride! Some people have a lot of nerve. I don't even understand the logic behind that! How did you even respond?
Posted by RoyalOrient[/QUOTE]

It is rude....my parents joke when they are around this person and say oh man i better eat at McDonalds because I am going to be so hungry at your wedding...lol. I didn't really respond I just walked away before I said anything(the person who said it is my newly SIL's mother.) I didn't want to cause anything...especially since my brother is part of that fam.

i2012do

The more I read these I feel 1. happy that i am not the only one in this boat but 2. saddened by the fact that people re so rude to do that. I never have the audacity to stand up to someone that says something rude- and i feel like I would "feel bad" if i did--but in all honesty I guess being rude right back to them is maybe what they need.

So far, it has mostly been strangers or people I don't like that have said something- but my FFIL has by far sad some of the most hurtful things so far. Hurtful really isnt the word-- more like dumb...

Immediately after I wrote this thread post (the orig) I got a call from him regarding the rehearsal dinner (actually,we are doing a late lunch around 2 pm) and basically he said some of the rudest stuff. I think he feels like my family isnt letting "his son" have a say in the day at all and he asked me why for the rehersal we couldnt just go to some place for burgers nad he'd pay for open bar so everyone coudl "get really lit up since you know, you will be fighting with everyone since you are the bride".
I was liek "well its really just a luncheon so we have time after to do last minute stuff etc,. i am not sure if anyone will be having more than a beer or two or a glass of wine" (because we are normal people) and he goes "well i plan on having a BLAST and really enjoying myself, and i dont want to do that at some place where yo have to stick out your pinkie when you drink out of a martini glass (basically, insinuating that at the PLACE i chose where I have been merrily planning it for a month- you have to do that).
I was like really appallled. Apparently his goal isnt to see his son get married- its to get drunk...awesome

LOMLBOAT

I know what you mean about some family members being the worst offenders with saying things.  It's usually unthinking people that say nasty comments, but the ones that hurt the most are family (at least that's what I've dealt with).

Long story, but my FI's brother and wife do NOT approve of the marriage, coming right out and telling us all along.  It's been pretty bitter, family getting involved, taking sides, etc.  I've had to stay out of it because I would probably want to murder them if I was alone with them in a room.  It's been difficult to bite my tongue, but I can't just go insulting my future in-laws (even though it's ok if they do it).  The final straw was when FI asked 1 brother to be the best man, but not the other (the mean one).  Well the mean brother, now with 7 weeks to go is now trying to back out of being in the wedding party.  He even told someone (which got back to us) that he's hoping it will stop the wedding, or at least cause us some grief.

I just don't get how if people are not happy for you, why they can't just keep their mouth shut.  Or if it's that bad, then don't come, but don't try to ruin our day.

i2012do, I think it's really awful that FI's dad would say such things to you.  I know how hard it is when FI is put in the middle of a disrespectful family member and you.  I just try not to put it on him, not really his fault, he tried sticking up for us, but some people just want to ruin things.

Not that I even take my own advice, but I would stop talking to FI's dad, just have FI talk to him, or don't pick up on calls.  The less interaction you have with him, the better.

i2012do

That's really frustrating. Its too bad his brother wouldnt just have a heart to heart with him and voice his concerns and your fiance could reply and tell him how he feels- its better than being bitter and doing passive agressive things.
this is what is happeneing to my girlfriend now as well, her sisters are planning kind of medicore events for her regarding her weding because they dont love her fiance!