Late RSVPs

[Deleted User]

Hi  all,
What is the most tactful way to address people who have not RSVPed by the deadline, and have not said anything at all about getting the invitation or coming to the wedding? I am assuming these people are not coming, but I can't help my annoyance that they couldn't just let me know. With so much to do before the big day, chasing people who I cared enough about to invite to my special day isn't high on my list of things I want to do! Should I just assume they are not coming or reach out? My feelings are hurt that they didn't acknowledge our wedding at all, even with a polite "i am so sorry we cant make it." Thanks (and thanks for letting me vent!)

DansBride52911

This happened to us and we just had some family members reach out to those that hadn't responded.

JadeW24

Hi,

First of all, I tried not to worry about it too much.  Life happens, invites get misplaced or (something I've done...) people believe they've sent the RSVP, but havn't actually done it.  I have one guest that apparent never recieved her invitation, so she was REALLY surprised when I was calling to see if she was coming.  Just something to keep in mind, usually their lack of response is not intentional.  In any case, here's what I said to my wayward guests....

Hi ____!
How's it going? (chit chat - how's your summer going?  how are your kids?  how are you and spouse doing? whatev...).
I'm writing just to see if you'll be able to join us on mm.dd.yy for the wedding?  I know things are crazy, we're just looking to get a final count.  I hope you can come, we'd really love to share the day with you!!
Hope all is well -
Me

Hope this helps - and good luck!

Island_Bride2011

I had people RSVP 7 days prior to my wedding.  There were several changes 2 weeks out.  Just prepare yourself for that.  The wedding is the most important thing for us, but our guests just aren't thinking about it until 2 or 3 weeks before.

KBinRI

I wouldn't just assume they aren't coming; you could get a real surprise on your wedding day when they show and you have no space or meal for them.

We were lucky and only had to hunt down a few (who were like "of course we're coming, duh ..." as if I have a crystal ball and I am the ridiculous one!) but I'd do as PP suggest, but I would call them instead of e-mailing. Much more direct and, if they didn't respond to a fancy-pants invite, I was pretty sure they weren't going to write back to my plain old e-mail, you know? Good luck!

kathanddave

I had a handful of people who didn't respond and I called them.  A few were surprised and said they mailed their RSVP's the day they received the invitation however 6 months later we heard their husband found in their car or in their purse so you never know.  I would definately just check in via phone and let them know you need the head count for the caterer.  Good luck!

alainar1223

This is a bit late, but would love to share our approach. I created a paperless post email version of our invite (literally almost the same thing!) and then sent it to those who didn't reply.  I didn't say "ps, you didn't reply to the actual invite"...just resent it in electronic format.  The response rate was incredible, and we had almost 100% resolved within a few days.