I'm hoping some fellow Knotties might help me with this one.
My parents have been divorced for 15 years, my father has been remarried for 10. I had hoped, and still do, that both my parents would walk me down the aisle. While my relationship with my father has been more complicated than the one I have with my mother, it is deeply important that the two of them walk me down the aisle and give me away. The ceremony will be at a charming hotel, officiated by a friend, so it's fairly informal and only somewhat non-traditional, but I do want both my mother and father to walk me down.
A few months ago, my stepmother informed me (among other details) that my father wouldn't walk me down the aisle with my mother. She claimed it voids out his current marriage. The whole conversation left me somewhat flustered because the day really isn't about my parents' relationship(s), it's about the relationship between FH and me. I confirmed with my father and he said he will not walk me down with my mother. He suggested that he walk me halfway and my mother walk me the second half. While this seems like a possible fix, it also symbolizes the divorce and the divide in my family, which is the last thing I'd like to call attention to on my wedding day.
Apologies for being sentimental, I know that often, brides with remarried parents may have the stepparent and biological parent walk them halfway and then the other bioloical parent (and possibly other stepparent) walk them the other half.
If this didn't feel like a flashing neon divorce sign, I might consider the half and half walk. It also seems largely fueled by whatever insecurities my stepmother harbors toward my mother. However, I really don't feel like symbolizing their differences and dislike of each other on a day that is a-not about them and their divorce and b-supposed to be full of love and good wishes for my future marriage.
Has anyone else encountered a situation like this? I know I can't make my father walk me down and I have expressed how important it is to him that both he and my mother walk me down. I also could use tips on how to break the news. It has been a few months since we discussed it and it hasn't come up since. Is it a terrible faux pas to wait until closer to the wedding to let him know? I'm thinking of posing it to him as such: "Dad, it's still my wish that you and mom both walk me all the way down the aisle, but I will respect your decision if this is not within your comfort zone." I don't expect my father and mother to dance or be seated together. It's just that the walk down the aisle feels pretty important. Thanks in advance for any ideas on this.