deceased father of the groom

vllawhorne

any ideas of how we can include the recently deceased fatehr of the groom without bringing the whole ceremony down and causing the mother of the groom unnecessary grief

Lisa50

Remember the groom's father with a silent prayer the evening before the ceremony.  Perhaps the groom can carry/wear something that belonged to his dad (watch, cufflinks, handkerchief) during the ceremony.

For everyone's sake, do not have an empty chair (or anything else) to highlight the absence of the groom's father.  People are going to your wedding to celebrate, not mourn.

DramaGeek

We lit a candle in memory of our three deceased grandfathers.  It wasn't announced or anything, it was just done.

NicoleLyn1218

My friend's now husband's father died about a month before the wedding. They were going to have it in June but got married in December because he was diagnose with terminal cancer and was given two months to live, but only ended up living for three weeks. He was going to be the best man, so they had the MOH walk up by herself and they had a pillar in the front and they put a white rose on the pillar and lit a candle when they went to thank and hug the parents during the ceremoy. They also said a prayer before dinner and included him in it.

Avion22

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_deceased-father-of-the-groom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:75a52841-f4dd-481d-9702-7217c6e9a4a5Post:0f16d27f-53f0-40b0-99fd-52ffce321d23">Re: deceased father of the groom</a>:
[QUOTE]Remember the groom's father with a silent prayer the evening before the ceremony.  Perhaps the groom can carry/wear something that belonged to his dad (watch, cufflinks, handkerchief) during the ceremony. For everyone's sake, do not have an empty chair (or anything else) to highlight the absence of the groom's father.  People are going to your wedding to celebrate, not mourn.
Posted by Lisa50[/QUOTE]



I couldn't agree with this more. Private remembrances are absolutely fine, but outward memorials will probably catch a lot of family members off guard and will be quite upsetting (especially since the groom's father passed recently). At most, I would do a mentionin the program, if there is one.

mellimel19

As other's have suggested, the groom could wear cuff links or something that belonged to his dad. Or if you are displaying pics of you and your groom and your families at your wedding, you can include pics with the groom's dad. That's what we're doing.

kmmssg

Agree that this needs to be silent and private.  I'm going to guess it will be painfully aware to MOG that her husband isn't with her for your wedding.  She will want to keep the stiff uppper lip and all, so I wouldn't do anything noticeable to others.

Peavy

Sorry for your loss.  It must be very difficult for FI and his family.

Couldn't agree more with the PPS -- keep whatever you do small and private.  People are there to celebrate with you and your fiance, not to attend a memorial.

bratto06

I am making this

naomikb

I'm sorry, that must be hard for your families.

I agree, I think it should be private and quiet/silent.  A candle is a good idea.

willywally5

DD's FI lost his mom a few years ago. They are planning to have a candle and her photo somewhere at the ceremony where it will be seen but not like a huge focal point and then move it to the reception where it will be displayed in a similar fashion. 

tiffanygoss

My FI lost his dad as well and I suggested doing a candle, picture, etc. He said he did not want any of that done. He will be thinking of his dad on that day and will have a private moment to himself and thats all he will need.

My advice would be see what you FI wants and what he will be comfortable with.

So sorry yall have to go through this.

ivedonethisb4

I definately agree with keeping it small and quiet as to not make a huge deal out of it..especially with the loss being so recent. I'm honoring my Dad who passed away in 08 by putting one red rose in my bouquet. They were his favorite. So that's just for me and no one else. I'll also have 4 pink ones in rememberance of my maternal Grandma and Grandpa and my Mom's baby sister and my paternal Grandpa as well. Its just my silent way of honoring them.

RNMOMTO3

For my step son's Sept wedding, I gave him his parents' wedding album, his deceaded mother's wedding dress, and a picture of her on her wedding on the front row that was reserved just for her memory. There was a bouquet placed with her items also. My SS was so proud of the display and felt like his mother was included.

For our wedding, to honor my husband's deceased mother, I made a satin chair cover and ironed on "Mother of the Groom" in crystals. We placed on the chair a corsage that matched my mother's corsage but had sparkling ribbon in it.

If you're ok with saving a chair for his memory, placing photos of him or even hanging his jacket on the chair might be an option for you guys.