Traveling Guests

bgrjourney

I was hoping to get some advice on a pickle that I just can't seem to get around for our wedding. We have decided to do our reception at one of two NC aquariums on the OBX. The problem is we can't decide which based off of the fact that either a) there isn't enough hotel accomadations around for the guests or b) there isn't a ceremony venue around to accomadate our size.

Basically these two aquariums are within budget and can accomadate the amount of guests we are inviting. One is in a very small town with virtually no hotel accomadations for atleast an hour away and the other doesnt have any ceremony venues around that can or will accomadate our size.

We aren't religious people so we would have prefered not to get married in a church but it seems as though thats going to be something we have to compromise on. Due to the fact that FI isn't baptised of confirmed into any church of any denomination it basically has red flagged us and we were having trouble finding one that would marry us.

My gandmothers church is very understanding of our lack of participation in religion and preferences for the ceremony and have agreed to let us hold our ceremony there (they are big enough for our wedding party!) THe catch is it is an hour and a half away from the reception site and hotel accomadations (the closet one).

I feel guilty asking my guests to travel like that especially since most are coming from NY and CO in the first place. But this is the area we live in! It takes 45 minutes to get to the grocery store and an hour and a half to get to walmart. So for us the drive is typical Im just worried the guests wont see it that way.

I realize there is an option of bussing people but I worry that that might get costly and potentially complicated. I'm just not sure whats appropriate of me to ask of them. We are trying to lock down our bookings for the ceremony and reception sites so we can start paying down the balances and moving forward with the save the dates but Im just in a slump about what to do!

Avion22

Why, specifically, a NC Aquarium on the Outer Banks, if there's no place to stay and no place to hold the ceremony?  

If you like the outer banks, then maybe find a nice hotel that has places to stay, and use that for your ceremony and your reception.  

The Outer Banks is a tough place to get married if you are having a larger wedding.  My sister went to one a few years ago, and not only was there no place to stay within an hour, the only places even THAT close were beach houses that required a week's rental.  The B&G had a really hard time finding caterers, florists, etc that didn't charge an arm and a leg to deliver to their location....so unless the OBX has really special and specific meaning to you guys, I would reconsider exactly where you want to have your wedding.  A ceremony venue that holds your guests, and places for them to stay, are kind of non-negotiable.  I mean, you could cut your guest list to fit into the venue, but then they'd still have no place to stay, KWIM?

I would NOT recommend you get married in a church if you're not religious.  Especially not one that's an hour away from the closest hotels.   There are plenty of other options for places to get married. 

Maybe try the NC board to see if they have any better ideas.  Possibly Emerald Isle, or further south like Topsail or Wilmington?

bgrjourney

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_traveling-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:75f004e9-25da-4b32-90c6-2e5784cf1a69Post:606918ab-86a3-4135-8566-f4004c98afde">Re: Traveling Guests</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>If you're not religious, why is it important to be married in a church?</strong> Can you have the ceremony in the larger aquarium instead? If having the pastor marry you is important, perhaps she'll come and do the ceremony there (if not catholic, and it sounds like you aren't). I don't know anything about your area. Avion's suggestion of your local board (to the left) is a good one. They should be able to help answer your Outer Banks-specific questions.
Posted by Schatzi13[/QUOTE]

I don't want a church wedding! We are not religious... we just are finding that space wise and lack of venues are leading us to churches. My issue was is it ok to ask the guests to travel for the ceremony.

bgrjourney

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_traveling-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:75f004e9-25da-4b32-90c6-2e5784cf1a69Post:a70f4e86-5764-46b7-b3a7-8b0dcfe052e6">Re: Traveling Guests</a>:
[QUOTE]Why, specifically, a NC Aquarium on the Outer Banks, if there's no place to stay and no place to hold the ceremony?   If you like the outer banks, then maybe find a nice hotel that has places to stay, and use that for your ceremony and your reception.   The Outer Banks is a tough place to get married if you are having a larger wedding.  My sister went to one a few years ago, and not only was there no place to stay within an hour, the only places even THAT close were beach houses that required a week's rental.  The B&G had a really hard time finding caterers, florists, etc that didn't charge an arm and a leg to deliver to their location....so unless the OBX has really special and specific meaning to you guys, I would reconsider exactly where you want to have your wedding.  A ceremony venue that holds your guests, and places for them to stay, are kind of non-negotiable.  I mean, you could cut your guest list to fit into the venue, but then they'd still have no place to stay, KWIM? I would NOT recommend you get married in a church if you're not religious.  Especially not one that's an hour away from the closest hotels.   There are plenty of other options for places to get married.  Maybe try the NC board to see if they have any better ideas.  Possibly Emerald Isle, or further south like Topsail or Wilmington?
Posted by Avion22[/QUOTE]

The prospect of an aquarium is important to us because it suits us as a couple. We live just inside of the outer banks so thats why we kind of picked those aquariums. Yes the wedding must be in NC around this area due to my small family and the health of a couple who are unable to travel long distances to go to the wedding if not around here 

I have tried the NC boards thank you for your advice... I never realized that an OBX wedding would be so much trouble to plan...

DramaGeek

Have the ceremony and reception in the same place - problem solved.  It is absolutely not ok to ask your guests to travel 90 minutes from your ceremony to your reception.

Avion22

Okay, I just re-read your post....originally I thought you said that neither aquarium was big enough to hold your crowd...not that they both were (reading comprehension fail on my part).  Yeah, in that case, pick the aquarium that is closest to accomodations, and have both your ceremony and reception there.  Then hire a non-denomination/secular officiant to perform the ceremony (or see if the pastor from that church would agree to perform your ceremony at the aquarium).  

FWIW, I think an aquarium wedding would be awesome, and I love the Outer Banks, but you're right, there just aren't a lot of options for venues around there

NOLAbridealmost

Have your ceremony at whichever aquarium you choose; there's no need to get married at a church.

Summer2011Bride

Have the ceremony at the aquarium where you choose to have your reception. Don't make guests drive 90 min. between the two.

loca4pook

1) Don't make your guests drive 90 minutes between sites

2) don't pick a place where your guests would have to drive 90 minutes to get a hotel either..especially if you will be serviing alcohol which could just be dangerous at the end of the night

Just because you are used to it, it doesn't mean most are. They will be angry with you and that might ruin the night

I agree thgat you should just get married at reception site..but don't pick the site where there is NO accomodations for your guests...that's just rude

vbjoanna

I know one of the aquariums, the one by Kure Beach, and you're right that there aren't hotels for an hour. If the other one has nearby hotels, I'd choose that one and have the ceremony at the aquarium too. You should be able to find an OBX officiant without too much difficulty who is perfectly open to whatever views the two of you might have. If you do have trouble, I had two friends get married on the mid-upper OBX in the past few years and could find out who they used. A third friend is getting married there this October, but she's at Topsail, I think.

You said that NC is important to you, but I thought I'd put this out there anyway -- the Virginia Aquarium in Virginia Beach. The area is crawling with hotels (although I don't recall that any are right across the street), and the Aquarium is pretty big. Depending on where your NC guests are coming from, it might not be any more difficult for them to get there than it would be to get to certain parts of the OBX. But I hear you on wanting NC -- we want everything to be in Durham, not Chapel Hill, not almost-Durham, not even Durham-but-wishes-it-were-Chapel-Hill. 

I also note that your wedding date is two years away. If your living situation might change in that time, you might want to hold off on booking a venue. Might you change jobs or cities? You might also decide that the Aquarium is jsut too difficult and use it as an "everyone is invited to join us for an afternoon at the aquarium," say, the day before the wedding or the day after. Then you get the aquarium in, could even provide transportation if needed, since the group might be smaller, but have a less logistically difficult main event. 

But I also know that's easier said than done - I drove myself nuts thinking about all the possibilities until we finally booked something! good luck!

vbjoanna

I know one of the aquariums, the one by Kure Beach, and you're right that there aren't hotels for an hour. If the other one has nearby hotels, I'd choose that one and have the ceremony at the aquarium too. You should be able to find an OBX officiant without too much difficulty who is perfectly open to whatever views the two of you might have. If you do have trouble, I had two friends get married on the mid-upper OBX in the past few years and could find out who they used. A third friend is getting married there this October, but she's at Topsail, I think.

You said that NC is important to you, but I thought I'd put this out there anyway -- the Virginia Aquarium in Virginia Beach. The area is crawling with hotels (although I don't recall that any are right across the street), and the Aquarium is pretty big. Depending on where your NC guests are coming from, it might not be any more difficult for them to get there than it would be to get to certain parts of the OBX. But I hear you on wanting NC -- we want everything to be in Durham, not Chapel Hill, not almost-Durham, not even Durham-but-wishes-it-were-Chapel-Hill. 

I also note that your wedding date is two years away. If your living situation might change in that time, you might want to hold off on booking a venue. Might you change jobs or cities? You might also decide that the Aquarium is jsut too difficult and use it as an "everyone is invited to join us for an afternoon at the aquarium," say, the day before the wedding or the day after. Then you get the aquarium in, could even provide transportation if needed, since the group might be smaller, but have a less logistically difficult main event. 

But I also know that's easier said than done - I drove myself nuts thinking about all the possibilities until we finally booked something! good luck!

kaos16

I am having my wedding in an aquarium as well, albeit on Long Island in New York.  If it helps, this is what we are doing:  We blocked rooms at the hotel attached to the aquarium.  The ceremony is on the aquarium's pavillion overlooking the river, the cocktail hour is steps away around the koi pond, the dinner portion of the reception is inside around the shark tanks.  We are being married by a local judge.

I hope that helps!