Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

Boutonniere and Corsages for Step-parents/girlfriends?

My fiance and I are having a very difficult time deciding who we thing should be wearing a boutonniere and corsage's in our families. My fiance's stepmother has been around his entire life, and we would LOVE for her to have a corsage because we consider her to be his mother. The issue is.... my mother is remarried and both my fiance and I have had a tumultuous relationship with my stepfather for years. I do not wish to have him included in the wedding to the extent that he's wearing a boutonnière and therefore respresenting himself as family. Thirdly, my father has had a serious girlfriend for 3 years, who I wouldn't mind wearing a corsage. HELP! Is it distasteful to ask my fiance's stepmmother, and my father's girlfriend to wear a corsage and leave my stepfather out? My Dad says I should just allow my stepfather to wear the boutonnière, but my fiance  and I feel strongly about not having him be involved in the wedding at all.

Thank you for your advice!

Re: Boutonniere and Corsages for Step-parents/girlfriends?

  • I think you should give each parent, step-parent and partner a corsage or boutonniere.

    I think you're being really petty to not want to give the step-father a boutonniere ... it's just a FLOWER, for Pete's sake. It will keep the peace and it will make your mother happy. It's not like giving him a boutonniere will kill you.
  • It would be discourteous to exclude one of your parent's spouses from getting a bout or corsage. 

    If you are giving flowers for any of the parents, the step parents should get them also. It doesn't matter if you like your stepfather or not. 

    If you want to also give your Dad's GF a corsage, you certainly can. 

  • You certainly don't have to give your stepfather a boutonniere.  Of course, he likewise doesn't have to forgive you for such a public insult, and neither does your mother or anyone on her side of the family.

    It's not like he'd be walking you down the aisle or doing a spotlight dance with you.  It's a freaking flower.  Suck it up.
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  • I would just get your step-dad a boutonniere.  That doesn't mean he's involved in the wedding.  It would save you a lot of trouble to just give him one.  It's really not that big of a deal but if you don't do it, it probably will become a bigger deal.
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  • I'm all for doing your own thing, but it seems that when it comes to wedding business, the best deal is to keep the peace. Even if you don't like him, might as well just make your mother happy and just give him a flower. In your heart, you know who is participating in your wedding and who isn't.
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