ways to include moms?

jenlynn426

My mom is my very very best friend and i am trying to find a way for her to be involved in the ceremony, as well as my FMIL.   I think my mom is kinda bummed deep down that there is not set aside role for mothers... she often mentions grooms fathers being the best man, and my dad gets to give me away.  I told her I would love her to be my matron of honor, but she didn't really go for that.  and I really would have loved both of my parents to walk me down the aisle, but she doesn't want to steal my dad's thunder since he has been looking forward to this since i was born.   We are going to do a knot tying ceremony instead of unity sand/candle and I had thought that maybe I could have her and my FMIL stand to bring us the ropes, but i wasn't sure if that would be silly.  She definitely isn't offended to not have a part, it would just mean alot for me to have my mom involved in my special day too.  any thoughts??  thanks y'all!!

Avion22

If she doesn't want to walk you down the aisle with your dad, then I think your best bet for the ceremony is to get her a nice corsage.  You could have her escorted to her seat right before the processional (maybe a brother could escort her, since your dad is escorting you), and your FFIL can escort your FMIL.   

Do you think she'd feel comfortable giving a welcome speech at the beginning of the reception?   

Summer2011Bride

Ditto PP. You have tried to include her but she didn't seem to want to be included in those ways. I would have her wear a corsage, be escorted in by someone at the beginning of the ceremony and I think it's fine to have her bring up the rope too.

willywally5

Bringing up the cords would be fine. 

However, being the MOB is kind of a big deal just in and of itself. I am one and I don't feel the need to be 'included.' I've raised the bride, helped plan the festivities and am hosting the event. That's a lot and it's enough. 

Plus, you tried to 'include' her and she declined. 

broncosgirl87

My mom and I are doing a mother-daughter dance at the reception. She picked out the song, and I know it means a lot to her to be included. If your mom doesn't want to be part of the public ceremony or reception, maybe you can write her a letter and deliver it the morning of your wedding. Or grab breakfast/brunch to start off the big day, just the two of you.

jenlynn426

thanks y'all!  i really think i've just tried to over think the whole thing.  she in no way feels like she is not involved, I just didn't know if there was something i was missing.... i am really not familiar with wedding traditions.  great ideas

Summer2011Bride

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_ways-to-include-moms?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:77ae3027-5053-4759-a06e-0da54f5a0bd1Post:7aaf306b-3a6b-452a-99da-e7894158ae05">Re: ways to include moms?</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Put her in the wedding party.  It's not unusual for a mother or grandmother to be the Matron of Honor</strong>. My mom would have been mine if she'd been alive.  I'd never have sat her on a bench, as if her part was over with the birthing.
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

OP asked her mom to be her Matron of Honor and she didn't want to be. I wouldn't force her on it.