FMIL rant, rehearsal dinner

URIsweethearts

hi ladies-  i'm having one of those days where I wish I could just elope! and then my MOH has to calm me down. sooooo I am on the hunt, and some of you may know from previous posts - for a rehearsal dinner spot in Narragansett...I can think of Coast Guard House(where we currently are) and Trio - any other suggestions? please help - FMIL is driving me insane...she keeps changing her mind about this - and frankly, FI and I have talked about taking money out of our budget to throw this stupid party. at this point, I don't even want this dinner. ugh. thanks!

Island_Bride2011

We had our RH at The Spain in Narragansett.  It was amazing! 

OceanStBride

I had the hardest time finding a location for a rehearsal dinner in Narragansett, mostly due to looking too late. I've heard Spain is great, but they were already booked. I was 100% ok choosing Coast Guard House, but the only space they had available wasn't handicapped accessible. We would have loved to have it at Trio, but they have a $2,000 minimum for parties and we weren't planning on spending that much. We are actually having it at the Village Inn where we are staying - KC of West Bay Gourmet is now consulting over there and I think is now their event manager. They were in the midst of doing renovations to rooms, the hotel, etc. when we visited a few weeks ago. Our party is too small for their ballroom, so we'll either have it in the "Bridge" room that they are currently renovating or a smaller (and honestly kind of ugly) room near the ballroom that they sometimes use as a ceremony space. Turtle Soup is right near the Towers too. There are a lot of options down near Point Judith, but we wanted something in the area between the Towers and South Ferry Church.

musictchr25

Not sure how you feel about Indian food, but Maharaja is a nice place with a huge entertainment space. They are closed right now for renovations, but I've eaten there before and loved their food.

URIsweethearts

thank you all for the suggestions - we were thinking of looking into spain too. 2,000 for trio?! wow...maybe that will not be an option then - I didn't want to spend that much either. I want something small, like 40 ppl...and CG holds that right now- but if we have other ppl to come - i'd like a bit of a cushion with the numbers without being too cramped. the other issue is we are not using the upstairs. FMIL hated it - so now they are partitioning (sp?) off part of the dining room - which will only hold 43<---and that's a tight 43. ugh. this is becoming so hard. FI hates village inn and everything about it (we looked there for our venue) so I don't know what to do..maybe somewhere in wakefield? or where in pt judith do you think? thanks!!!

dberrett

Oh nooooo!!! I'm so sorry to hear that you're STILL stressing over this! I hadn't heard anything in a while so I was hoping all was resolved. I'm sorry your FMIL is dragging you down, but don't let her. I went through quite a few phases of wishing we'd eloped as well, especially as the time draws closer. But believe me it's all worth it!!
As far as other ideas, what about Trattoria Simpatico in Jamestown? Or my friend had her reception and later her hubby's birthday party at the North Beach Club House in Narragansett. You'd need to get caterer and such, but it's really lovely. http://www.narragansettri.gov/index.aspx?NID=359
Good luck, I hope these suggestions help!

glamorous0813

Sorry to hear what you're going through..I completely understand as my FMI is drivig me nuts too! As far as locations, the chanler at cliff walk is beautiful in Newport also Spain is wonderful in every way! Good luck!

i2012do

I am sorry you are dealing with this! I am too.I have it booked at Coast Guard now too but I feel unsure about it.
I am calling Spain today.
I am also considering George's.

i2012do

Trio didn't give me a $2000 minumumbut for their most basic food it was almost 30$ pp

URIsweethearts

oh yes we are still dealing with this haha. she now thinks more ppl should come, CG doesn't hold enough, it's become a bit of a nightmare and so has the cars - all things she is dealing with - do you see a theme here?! dberrett - i wish it was resolved! she now wants to hold a 75 person rehearsal dinner. ahhhh!!!! b/c she wants to feed her family who is all coming from NJ to RI for the wedding. she is taking the literal sense that the rehearsal dinner is for out of towners. but with virtually everyone from OOT - that's how we are ending up with 75 ppl - and better yet - she told my mom she doesn't want a mini wedding -can you say hypocrite?! but as you might see in another thread - i am going to speak my peace about it -how I feel it shoudl be a more intimate dinner and then drop it. her and FI can fight over it. I do plan on calling bay voyage and arturo joes- because if with our essentil ppl and not all these crazy relatvies she wants - we are still over the limit for CG house. ugh. nightmare.

dberrett

My MIL also decided to invite anyone staying over night to our RH. Luckily, most people "out of state" were from CT, so they didn't actually come the day before. Have you looked at the list to try to figure out who might come for one vs. two nights? Remember, she might be inviting 75 people (shiver), but probably not all will come. That may help ease your stress.
When you say your peace to her, perhaps you could end the thought with, "But this is your thing, so it's up to you. I trust you to make these decisions". I did something similar with my MIL and it was SMART. I was telling her that she's in charge of the whole RH and I wanted nothing to do with it, but in a nicer way. She started getting out of control with the numbers, so I delegated all of it to her. The evening ended up being simple - it was in the downstairs room at ABC - but was nice. Plus, I didn't want it so nice that it overshadowed our wedding! Since money's tight for them, I knew that if I made her responsible for it all, it would be very modest. So, it was a win-win!
Like I mentioned earlier, if you haven't checked out the Northeast Beach Club in Narry, that would be a cheaper alternative and holds more people. And she could have all sorts of fun hiring a caterer lol!
Also check out the Majestic - it's a power boat cruise that leaves out of Newport that you can rent and serves dinner. It was very reasonably priced, and it's a great way to give OOT guests a tour of the area!
And you're also so right that let your FI deal with her in the future - in my experience she'll listen much better from him. Stuff coming from you she may think you're just being a bridezilla like mine did... Ugh... So use him to wrangle her in! But as I said in another post, always remember that you're marrying her son and you'll be family, so whatever you do, try to think of long term implications and keeping the peace. I know it's hard right now, really hard! But in a few months it'll all be over, and YOU'LL be the primary woman in your man's life, not his mother. That should make you smile ;-)

URIsweethearts

dberrett - thank you for your advice! you are always so good at it. I do plan on "taking myself" out of this now, and telling her to figure it out and FI and her can fight over it. the brunch has been a lot easier because it's going to be a lot more casual. I do think that once we look at the list- and figure out who will actually be here for 2 nights - we can cut the invite list down. she is naming all these ppl right now assuming they are coming for 2 nights. some may only come for 1 and newsflash to her!! some may not come at all! ohmigod the thought haha. it just seems like everything has gotten blown up about this that i just don't care anymore and am gonna let her deal with it. i have more important things to be doing. FI can wrangle her as you. and it IS hard because she is like planning her own wedding and some of her comments bother me -like how this is our day (to my mom and my mom just kinda looked at her like you psycho, it's THEIR day) but i dont want to cause any drama there will be a time called after the wedding. it's just frustrating. but i am going to just let it go. it will be like 2 hours out of my life and the next day will be so much better. knowing my FMIL - the guilt she will have knowing that this upsets me - she will change her tune....maybe thanks again!!!
ps - love the idea of the majestic but FFIL is totally seasick!