Newly Engaged!

URIsweethearts

Hello all, just got engaged in Block Island last month after 7 years together Wanted to say Hi and congratulations to all the other RI brides!

BelleandIzzy

Congratulations and welcome!

It's such an exciting time.  Best of luck with your planning and I hope you find the generosity of past and future brides on here as helpful as we have so far. : )

jmorta04

Congratulations!  I just got married in July and still like to post and hang out on here.  It's a great group of girls.

RoyalOrient

Congrats and welcome to the board! Good luck with the planning and let us know if you need any help. Btw there is a Knottie GTG Sunday October 23rd if you want to meet some of the girls on the board. 

Jessica, I am still hanging around and my wedding was many moons ago 

AmandaLeigh1014

Congratulations!!!

I find everyoe here to be extremely helpful, and someone always has an answer to a question i post, which i find amazing!

Goodluck! looking forward to getting to know you!

~Amanda

URIsweethearts

Hello all -
Thank you for your well wishes, however I am getting a litlte upset. Things are just not going well. One issue is that my parents are paying for the wedding, all but rehearsal dinner - which my fiance's parents are paying. His parents have also offered to help pay for our transportation and breakfast the next day - which I don't think my parents are too happy about - I think it sort of offends them in the sense of like, what they are giving is not enough so we are going to his parents. Kinda crazy I know - but you'd have to know them. The other issue is my fiance. He isn't really taking any initiative to help me with anything. I am doing all of the planning myself and playing referee b/w everyone. All he does is complain and say how he isnt happy with anything and cant get what he wants, blah blah. Now, I am starting to freak out b.c I am not sure if we really want to go through with this at the venue we've booked. He is not crazy about it, and it's not exactly my dream location either, but it fit in the budget. I mean, we like it just fine, but kinda feel like we are settling. The problem is we have booked our venue, put down the deposit, got the room blocks, proofing save the dates, booked officiant and told a lot of people when this is. I don't know if this is how others felt at this stage in the process, but this is not fun for me. We have been together 7 years and havent fought as much in 7 years as we have in the 2 months we have been engaged. Any help/advice from fellow/past/future brides would be helpful because I am like on the verge of tears about this everyday and don't really have any others to talk to about this. TIA.

LOMLBOAT

URIsweethearts,

I think every bride has been in your shoes.  Finding the venue & my dress were the most stressful parts of planning and everyone says it's supposed to be the most fun!  But there is just so much pressure to find the perfect venue, dress, etc that it doesn't become fun.  First thing you have to do is breathe.  It's not easy to have all the planning resting on your shoulders and it shouldn't be that way.  Maybe you can sit your FI down and see what interests him in the entire process (i.e. - his tux, the colors, what he wants for a boutinnere, the type of limo, foods).  There are so many options, you can narrow down your favorites and let him pick out of the options.  Or let him do the research for vendors and you finalize the decision.  It's more fun when your partner wants to be involved.  I fought a lot in the beginning with my FI because every moment for me revolved around the wedding & he just wanted to enjoy being engaged.  So we started setting aside 2 nights a week that we didn't speak of the wedding, totally off limits, just spent time doing things just the two of us that we loved (cooking together, going to the movies).  It took the pressure off of us both and I thought I would be more stressed by losing a night of planning, but it was actually better for me to reset and realize why I was planning this huge party - to marry the man I love.

It sounds like you are at a point of no turning back, so you need to do some soul searching and figure out what is really important, what just seems important, and understand this a fun experience.  I don't think any bride hasn't had a mental breakdown, cried, second and third and forth-guessed her decisions, but the best thing to do is make the decision and move on.

I hope this helps and everyone on here is here to help and it'll all work out!  GL!!

URIsweethearts

Thank you Lomlboat for your response. I feel like we have been having a rough time and I keep waiting for it to get better. It is really stressful and I just started a new job too! Lots of changes. I do feel like we are settling on the venue and that is my biggest concern. My fiance does want to be involved but as far as actually doing things, he is not really helping. He has ideas for his boutinnere, colors, food, etc. but his tastes are much more than our budget can allow. We need to compromise and I'm hoping things get easier. I really like your idea about getting out or having date nights where you don't talk about the wedding. Sounds like we need to do the same. We are kind of at that stage where yes, there really is no turning back, even though I am second guessing decisions already! I hope it all works out. I look forward to more responses.

URIsweethearts

Can I also ask where you ultimately decided and how many venues you looked at?

LOMLBOAT

We looked at 13 venues in 2 weeks (we got engaged in July & wanted a spring wedding so not a lot of time to decide as things fill up years in advance).  My FI is pretty picky and he wasn't happy with anything, except things out of our price range.  We fell in love with Belle Mer, but we couldn't afford it.  We finally got so stressed out, we decided to put the wedding off for a year and we stopped looking.  After a week we were so unhappy we called Belle Mer to see if they would work with our budget and they did.  We had to compromise by having a Friday wedding, but after everything, we wanted to be happy and Belle Mer was the place we'd be happy with.

URIsweethearts

wow! our stories seem to be eerily similar. we too, really liked one place, the viking and also ocean cliff, but neither could fit in our budget. we really wanted aug or sept of next year. my fiance is really picky too and like yours, wasn't happy anywhere. and is still not happy with our ultimate choice, atlantic beach club. we played around with the idea of putting the wedding off too. we utlimately booked the beach club after calling again(when i first called they were booked) and although it is nice and will work with our budget, it's neither of our dream place. we arent even sure if that exists! haha. i like it just fine, but fiance is not happy. we just thought it would be the best bang for our buck sort of thing. like i said in an earlier post though, we put the deposit down and have booked other things, so we feel kinda stuck. we will make it work. there are a lot of ways we can do that. belle mer is beautiful -congratulations. we got some info from them - too out of our range. although, if they were willing to work with you, that's great. the woman at the viking was willing to work with us too, but my parents still wouldnt spend the money on it. thanks for your advice/help! i appreciate it!