Interfaith Ceremony - PLEASE HELP!!

kshah05

Hey everyone! I need help with my ceremony. I'm hindu and my fiance is catholic and we are trying to figure out if there is a way to combine both religions into just one ceremony. I think that there isn't because both religions are so different from each other, and he (my fiance) seems to think that there is a way to combine both. Ive searched on google for ideas but i really haven't been able to find any answers. Neither one of us is religious, and we are having this wedding for our families and are trying to please both. We really dont want to have two different ceremonies, we just want one that represents both religions. Any ideas???

artbyallie

You probably can't combine them in a way that will be acceptable to the Catholic Church. For him to have the sacrament of marriage, you have to have a wedding in the Church performed by a priest. It doesn't have to be a full Mass, but you will have to agree to raise any children you may have as Catholic. I don't know if this is a dealbreaker for you. (And if any Catholics would like to correct me on this, please do. I am not Catholic myself)

What I would recommend in this situation is to do two ceremonies, which I am normally against. But this is a rare exception. If you are okay with the requirements of a Catholic wedding, do that one first as the legal marriage ceremony. Then do a Hindu-style ceremony at the reception, with a change of clothes if desired.

Avion22

I think it's important for the two of you, if you haven't already, to sit down and talk about your interfaith MARRIAGE before you work out how to do an interfaith WEDDING.  Will both of you continue to practice your respective faiths individually?  Will you celebrate holidays and follow traditions of both faiths/cultures as a family?  How will kids be raised?   What role do you see your faiths playing in your everyday lives?    

Once you've worked that out, I think the interfaith wedding ceremony will be easier to figure out.   If he plans to continue to practice his Catholic faith, then he will probably need to be married by a Catholic priest.  This won't require you to convert.   Some priests MAY be willing to incorporate elements of other faiths into a ceremony (as long as the Catholic requirements are met), and may be willing to have an officiant from the other faith participate in interfaith aspects of the ceremony.   

Otherwise, I don't see a problem with having two ceremonies to celebrate your different faiths.  

Riss91

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_interfaith-ceremony-please-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:79848c52-6042-4012-b407-03baff7091b6Post:04594e4e-6a9b-4933-933c-d1ca2381d642">Re: Interfaith Ceremony - PLEASE HELP!!</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it's important for the two of you, if you haven't already, to sit down and talk about your interfaith MARRIAGE before you work out how to do an interfaith WEDDING.  Will both of you continue to practice your respective faiths individually?  Will you celebrate holidays and follow traditions of both faiths/cultures as a family?  How will kids be raised?   What role do you see your faiths playing in your everyday lives?     Once you've worked that out, I think the interfaith wedding ceremony will be easier to figure out.   If he plans to continue to practice his Catholic faith, then he will probably need to be married by a Catholic priest.  This won't require you to convert.   Some priests MAY be willing to incorporate elements of other faiths into a ceremony (as long as the Catholic requirements are met), and may be willing to have an officiant from the other faith participate in interfaith aspects of the ceremony.    Otherwise, I don't see a problem with having two ceremonies to celebrate your different faiths.  
Posted by Avion22[/QUOTE]

I agree with this. If your future husband wants to continue in his faith and be able to receive sacraments in the future, he will need to have a Catholic ceremony. You will not have to convert and you WILL NOT have to agree to raise your children Catholic. Your future husband will have to agree to do his best to bring them up according to the faith. All you have to do is agree not to prevent him from doing so.

You would likely have a ceremony outside of mass (without communion) and you may be able to incorporate other elements from your faith into the ceremony, based on what your priest is comfortable with. In the Catholic Church, you are not allowed to have another religious ceremony, as that would invalidate the Catholic ceremony.

Here is the Canon Law:
<p style="line-height:normal;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12pt;font-family:'Times New Roman','serif';">Can.  1127 </span></p> <p style="line-height:normal;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12pt;font-family:'Times New Roman','serif';">§3. It is forbidden to have another religious celebration of the same marriage to give or renew matrimonial consent before or after the canonical celebration according to the norm of §1. Likewise, there is not to be a religious celebration in which the Catholic who is assisting and a non-Catholic minister together, using their own rites, ask for the consent of the parties.</span></p>

melb2013

My fiance is Hindu and I'm Jewish.  We're doing an interfaith ceremony.  Nobody in his family has EVER had an interfaith ceremony and they seem to think it's impossible- they think you either do it all or nothing.  We think it is very important to have a ceremony that honors both of our families, instead of having two separate ceremonies, which is what I've seen done with Hindu/non-Hindu marriages.

First I researched both traditions in detail.  I'm not really religious, so having a lot of my religion wasn't that big of a deal to me, but I did want traditional western vows and ring exchange and a breaking of a glass.  It was rough figuring out parts of a Hindu ceremony to use, because FI's family didn't help me- they felt that there was no part that was more important than another.

We hired a celebrant.  I would highly recommend doing this.  They are officiants that have no religious affiliation, but have training in a variety of different religions.  You could maybe have a former priest and a pundit do the ceremony outside of a place of worship, but priests only marry people in a place of God and do not typically do combination ceremonies.  Pundits don't seem to do combination ceremonies either.  

We are doing the mangal sutra, garland exchange, and the seven steps, along with western vows, ring exchange, and the breaking of a glass.  We're planning on the ceremony being a half hour in total (yes I realize this is completely different than Indian weddings!).  

I agree with the PPs that you need to figure out what kind of interfaith marriage you want to have.  Neither of us are particularly religious- we plan to expose our children to both of our religions, but we do not plan to practice either religion very closely.  For us, incorporating religion into our wedding was a way to honor our families.

Sorry for the long post!

kshah05

Mel B,

After reading your post i felt so much better i love your idea on how to have both of the cultures/religions represented in the ceremony. That is exactly what my fiance want too, and we would love to have the ceremony in a half an hour or less, We too just want to incorporate all of the the important things into the ceremony, and my family which is the indian side think that the whole ceremony atleasst the indian side is important and dont think that one part is more important then the other. And i dont want my family to feel like im botching hindu traditions by only picking and choosing to do certain things. My fiance and i are not religious at all, and don't plan on raising our kids to choose one religion over the other. We plan on telling our kids about both religions and having them learn about both religions if they choose to follow one or none at all thats completly fine with us. We dont really plan on follwing either religion once we are married, and like you we are choosing to incorporate both religions into the ceremony as way to honor both of our families. When is your wedding?

melb2013

Now for a while- we're getting married next spring, but I have to say that the ceremony is the first thing I thought about when we got engaged last year.  I'm glad I could help!  We love our celebrant- it was the first vendor we looked for after setting a date with a venue.