Wording help - how do I include tour info & reception?

pruemunro

Hi Ladies!!

I am finalizing our invitation wording and wondering if anyone would be willing to have a look over the below and offer any feedback?  FH and I are offering a Newport tour inbetween our ceremony and reception and have organized tour buses to pick everyone up after the ceremony and then take them back to the church afterwards so they can make their way to the cocktail hour/reception. 

Our invitation says "Scenic tour & reception to follow" at the bottom and we'll have a separate insert that has the reception & tour info.... does anyone have any thoughts on this, how does it look? Thank you!!

"We invite you to share our love of Newport by joining fellow guests on a 45 minute narrated scenic tour of Newport directly following our ceremony!

Enjoy the natural beauty of Newport as you experience Newport's Ten-Mile Ocean drive, historic buildings, restored homes and breathtaking mansions along the beautiful tree lined Bellevue Avenue.

Your tour bus transportation will be available for boarding directly following the ceremony and will escort you back to XXX (**Church) at conclusion of your tour.

At conclusion of your tour, please join us for cocktails followed by an evening of dinner and dancing at

XXX
 
Cocktail hour begins at 5:30pm
 
For accomodation options and additional guest information, please visit our website XXX

i2012do

I actually think that sounds really good.
What if guests don't want to take the tour? What can they do in the meantime?

Sarah0335

I think it sounds great!  I think that is a great idea of something for guests to do while you are running around taking pictures.  Then you aren't missing out on your reception.

KBinRI

I am a former newspaper editor turned PR person, so I know I'm super picky, but I came in handy on my month board for editing invites! I bolded words I changed and indicated where I removed words.

Scenic tour and reception to follow (not &)

"We invite you to share our love of Newport by joining fellow guests on a 45-minute narrated scenic tour directly following our ceremony. (removed second "of Newport," as it's repetitive)
Enjoy the natural beauty of Newport as you experience its (again, removed another "Newport") "Ten-MIle Drive" along the ocean, historic buildings, restored homes and breathtaking mansions along the beautiful tree-lined Bellevue Avenue.
Your tour bus transportation will be available for boarding directly following the ceremony and will escort you back to XXX (**Church) at conclusion of your tour.
At conclusion of your tour, please join us for cocktails followed by an evening of dinner and dancing at
XXX
 
Cocktail hour begins at -- OK, correct invitation wording is half after five in the afternoon. If you feel like that is too formal, then you could do half past five in the afternoon or, even more casual, five-thirty in the afternoon instead of 5:30 p.m. (if you do p.m., though, please note the space and the periods. Also note that evening begins at 6 p.m., so afternoon actually is correct even though it may seem like evening.)
 

pruemunro

Hi Ladies,

As always you have been a great help to me, THANK YOU!!!

chrispygal

I love, love, love this idea!  How fun and different!  I think your guests will love it.

pruemunro

Thanks Chrispy, I'm so excited about it!!  It was actually an idea our planner came up with as my FH and I wanted to attend our cocktail hour and weren't sure how we could manage it.

We have some family/friends coming from Australia and also many of my FH's family who live in MA but haven't been to Newport before so I think this will be a really nice thing for them to do while we have pics done and that way we can go to our cocktail hour. 

Unfortunately our wedding party is missing out on the tour and some of them wanted to go LOL.  We're making up little treat boxes (gable boxes) with some water, Boston and Australian snacks as a treat for people to enjoy on the tour.  I hope everyone loves it, it's a little different and I guess its hard to please everyone and I'm sure some people won't be happy but overall I think it will be fun