Pre Cana

i2012do

This might sound weird- because I know people that went to Pre Cana thought it wasn't fun or was a waste of time or something- but I Also know people that really enjoyed it.

We  aren't getting married in a Catholic Church (don't get me started... ) contrary to what I had wanted. Instead we are going to bring in a Reverend to marry us.

I do still think that the classes are kind of nice, to meet other young couples. see where you stand compared to others (ie know we aren't the only ones that have no idea what we are doing in life...), talk about things with a mediator about "hot topics", etc.

Maybe I'm weird to want to do some kind of pre-marriage counseling but anyway, I would like to do something -even if its a few hours...

Can I go to the PreCana classes through the Providence Diocese just "because" even though its not required for us to get married?
Or is there something else we can go do?

cozmo1145

To be honest, I really didn't mind pre cana.  With that said, I don't think it was particularly helpful.  There were a total of 21 couples in our group & 3 couples who led the discussions. 

With a total of close to 50 people in the room, there was definitely no "mediation".  They gave us worksheets to fill out independantly, then come back together (one-on-one) to talk about certain topics together (topics included finances, household chores, family, goals, intimacy).  I'm sure that the worksheets helped a few in the room who had never had the discussions previously, but there wasn't much of an open discussion as a group.  It was mostly the couples leading the discussion who gave us advice, followed by each couple discussing the topics on their own. 

I'm sure you could find the worksheets/exercises online if you just wanted to go over them with your fiance.  While the overall pre cana experience was positive for us, I don't think I would seek it out had it not been a requirement. 

Maybe someone else can offer other options.  I'm not familiar with any other setting where you meet other couples, etc.

i2012do

Whoa, That is so many people.

I just started thinking about this the other day, bcause my friends came over and had gone and they were like "whoa, some people hadn't even talked about finances--or kids!" and we were kind of giggling about it-- Like...you are engaged and never mentioned your 100,000 in student loan debt.

But then I started getting paranoid, that maybe there were some random topics we NEVER thought to talk about.

Or the fact that when we talk about kids or finances its just like I am talking, and then my fiance talks, and maybe it would be good to have a "third" opinion of someone that is older and wiser- -about what they would have done differently or just giving advice (I'm sure in fact, my parents would be willing to offer plenty)...

I guess I had this notion it was this huge open discussion for a few hours about life lessons, and advice, and just kind of like an "we're all in this together" feeling-- maybe that's just in the movies!

caityflute

My fiance and I are doing a marriage counseling with our pastor and his wife at our church here.  We absolutely LOVE it, and have learned and grown so much in just a few weeks.  We use a workbook (Marriage God's Way by Wayne Mack) and it is FANTASTIC.  We do the workbook on our own, and then talk with each other, and then meet with our pastor and talk about our revelations.  You can see a preview of the book on amazon if you're interested!

Even if you don't have someone to counsel you, it's still a great book to do on your own.  Good luck!

i2012do

thanks! I will check it out