Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

Remembering the deceased

Is there an inexpensive way to remember the deceased at your wedding? We can't do anything with pictures because we don't have them. I would just like to be able to do something special yet small this way!
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Re: Remembering the deceased

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    You could light candles! We're having a table set up by the entrance to the chapel with pictures of our grandparents (possibly their wedding portraits) who have passed and probably a candle lit in their memory. I know you said you can't do pictures, but you could candles (a few small or one larger one) and then have something nice printed up and framed saying "In Memory of..." and then list whoever you are honoring.
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    I've also been to a wedding where the pastor says something like, "At this happy time in bride and grooms life there are other people they wished would have been able to make it, but they couldn't. Let's take a moment of silence and remember those people who can't be with us today." or something like that :)
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    We will have the Pastor say something special about those that have past (early in the ceremony) and then we'll light one candle honoring everyone. We also don't have pictures of all of them and the question arises " how far back  do we go? Grandparents? Great Grandparents? Step-Grandparents? Aunts? Uncles? Cousins?"  Simply stated, there are special people that were in our lives that are no longer here and we want to honor their memory by lighting a candle during our wedding.
    I like the DIY candle idea. :)
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    Kate504Kate504 member
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    edited October 2010
    my cousin had thier names on the back of the programs.
    BFP #1 6/18/2012 // EDD 2/28/2013 // Birthdate 2/7/2013

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    To go with what ReTreadBride said,

    My fiance's best friend died in a car accident in April of 2005 , and we will be getting married April of 2011. I've been wondering if I should honor him some way, but last December we went to his sisters wedding, and they didn't mention him at all. I really wanted to honor him, but now that we know that his sister didn't want it, we more than likely will not do it. So, just check with family members, and if the deceased is a family member, check around with your other family members to see what they think.
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    We are placing there names in the program under Loved Ones not iwth us and placing a single white rose for each of them in a vase on the table with the unity candle.
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    My dad just passed on September 21st.  I saw an option to leave a seat in memory of a person with a rose in it but I would bawl looking at it.  So for the scripture I am haing the scripture read from my Dads Bible and something in the program to mention basically that we feel his presence eventhough he isn't physically present. 
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    yvonne614: that is a LOVELY idea.

    My father passed 2 years ago. I'm not sure what we'll do, but I do know I want to work his photo into my bouquet so he can still walk me down the aisle :-)
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    My fiance's dad died when he was 5 years old, so I was thinking about doing something like this for him. I really like the candle idea!
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    My fiancee's mother just unexpectedly passed away and I think she was the most excited for us getting married out of all of our family members.  When we get married in March, it will still be under the 1 year mark of her death.  His brother got married 2 months after her passing and he left a chair empty where she should have sat.  When he got to the alter, he knelt down and placed her favorite flower on the seat.....well we all lost it, including the groom.  It was still so close to her passing and it kinda started the ceremony on a rough foot.  Depending on the family member that passed, I don't know if this is the best option because the reminder is literally right in front of you.

    I was also looking for any ideas.  I thought about a candle/vase with flowers/pictures.  I also am considering having a song that reminds us of her (somewhere over the rainbow) and only having us and his brother/wife dance to the song in her memory but now I'm worried that it will set a 'sad' tone to the party.  Any thoughts on that idea?
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    My mom died 3 weeks before our DD's wedding.  She adored her granddaughter, and our DD adored her grandma back.  In addition, our SIL's dad had died 9 months before the wedding, so they were both dealing with significant losses.

    DD wore a pair of grandma's earrings, and our SIL wore a live strong bracelet, and Nike live strong sneakers (Yep~with his tux) in honor of his Dad.  Both were low-key and meaningful to the bride and groom, but weren't "in your face", which neither of them would have been able to handle.

    In addition, our minister mentioned both grandma and poppa in the prayer before the meal.

    My mom would have HATED anything that took away from the joy and celebration of her granddaughter's wedding~so none of us were comfortable doing something that would have upset grandma.

    I'm sorry for your loss.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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    In Response to <a href=" BoardsForum:10Discussion:7d84c83a-9807-43a4-87bf-55a651fc2ef3Post:4e2b9d39-7d5e-4db2-b7f4-41566ab590e0">Re: Remembering the deceased</a>:
    [QUOTE]I am so sorry for everyone's loss here.  It's never easy (even if it's not directly yours).  I think the main thing is to follow what's best for you and the family members of the deceased.  Best of luck to all of you! Amber, here's a pic of how the candle turned out.  You'll probably be able to see it better if you go into my married bio (under Ceremony) and click on it to enlarge it.
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

    Thank you :) That looks really nice. If he's ok with it, we will probably do something like that.
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    We're getting married on Samhain (Halloween), which is a day to remember the Dead.  For it, we're doing an Ancestral Altar with candles, a single flower, and objects that remind us of the deceased.  For example, my strongest memories of my great grandmother are of us playing checkers; thus I'm having checkers to represent her.  I've also made a walking stick to honor my Cherokee and Choctaw ancestors.  I'm also having the family write notes, messages, and memories to the deceased to be place on the ancestral altar (memorial table).  There are plenty of inexspensive ways to include the deceased on your day. 
    Bright Blessings! ~)O(~
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