HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!

jayleensmama

i have a BIG problem! i have 4 bridesmaids, a marton of honor and a maid of honor.. I know usually its either one but i couldnt choose.. This is the problem. One of my bridesmaids in my wedding lied to me about somethin i think is important and she STILL hasnt fessed up the truth.. It is unrealted to the wedding, but i am FURIOUS! I am ready to kick her out of my wedding.. The problem is, is that her husband is my fiances best man, and her daughter is the flower girl.. How do I tell her that I dont want her in my wedding without causing major friction?? Im sure the best man will now back out and of course they wont let their daughter be in it as well.. I have replacements so I'm ok, but if she ever decides to admit the truth, I may allow her at the wedding.. But now, I don't want her to be a part of my wedding and MAYBE just a guest.. What do I say to her??

stgn01

nothing.  it's really rude to kick someone out of the wedding once they are already asked to be in it.  especially if her husband is BM and thier girl is the FG.  and if it has nothing to do with the wedding, don't let it affect the wedding.  maybe have a seperate conversation about this with her and she'll fess up.i wouldn't kick her out.....it will just cause more drama.  unless you want that.

annabear07

Is this really something you want to end a friendship about?  I would take a time out and let the steam pass.  You should also give her the chance to talk to you about it like adults do. And I agree 100% with pp.  Unless she canceled the reception you can't kick her, the FG, and the BM out of the wedding...even if you have replacements.  Seriously, would you like to be a second string BM?  I don't think so. 

jayleensmama

well.. the thing is, is that i dont want someone i no longer like in my wedding.. Im a big on disliking liars.. this wasnt a small lie.. it was pretty big... especially to me.. ive never been a second string BM, but if someone told me that so and so pulled out and theyre sorry they didnt ask me in the first place, i would do it.. why not?? what would you do if you had 4 girls and 2 could no longer do it for any reason?? just have 2??

chipperberg

As far as the second string BMs..if I had ANY of my BM back out for any reason, I would NEVER ask anyone else.  I chose my BM for particular reasons.  I have 6 BM and he has 9 groomsmen.  The 6 I chose I chose for a reason.  I could have asked 3 more of my closest friends to be in the wedding to even out the numbers, but I really wanted and have always wanted just these 6 girls.  just my thought...

alinaandjared

yes- one of my girls (i had 6 and he has 6) pulled out a month and a half ago. she told me to replace her.... obviously I did NOT replace her. If you did not ask the person in the first place, you do not ask them now. Nor do you kick someone out of your bridal party unless she: slept with your fiance, or something equally awful!

annabear07

Yep, I would just go with the 2 bridesmaids.  I had 8 to start with and one couldn't do it so I had 7 bridesmaids on my wedding day.  You still haven't said if you have talked to her about it or not.  If you haven't, I would at least give her a chance to explain herself.  I mean she was a close enough friend to be in your wedding why doesn't she deserve a conversation?

keb270

As much as you might be angry at this person, it is a really bad idea to kick them out of your wedding. You might also risk losing the best man and flower girl if you do so. Would you be okay with that? Would your fiance? Think about how he will feel if his best man is no longer involved.You didn't tell us much about the whole lie situation, which is fine, but perhaps it doesn't seem like a big deal to her? I think the best thing you could do it is talk to her like an adult about the situation instead of just kicking her out of your wedding.Also, I cannot speak for everyone, but I personally would be offended if I was asked to be a backup bridesmaid.

ShawnandKris

I asked my best friend to step down from our wedding about a month ago. It's not the best situation and the reasons behind me doing so were more about my family, and not my feelings. You should really suck this one up. If you kick her out, then the others will go too, and they won't show up as guests even if you think they will. I would ask her about the situation and get it out in the open. Think long and hard before you do anything. If I could go back things might be a little different, but again, I felt that it was the best decision to make to protect my family. One thing I can't take back now is the time and anger that I carried around for awhile during on the of the most happiest times of my life. I won't get those moments back and neither will you! Don't be consumed.....just ask her about it.

jnic0319

just to play devils advocate here...my FI's brother got married a year and a half ago, his SIL my FSIL and I weren't close when they got engaged but we got closer during wedding planning...one of the BM's, FI's sister to be exact (long story) backed out the night before.  My FSIL asked me that morning to step in, I was honored and did so without a second thought, I didn't match the girls or anything but I was honored that she asked me to be a part of it... that said, I would say first talk to your FI about this, you kicking her out will probably mean him loosing his BM as a friend and you loosing her not to mention all three on the wedding, it's your day and that's all the matters, but the long-term effects should be worth it to both you and FI before you make that decision...let the steam go and try to talk to her first is my opinion and see if you can work it out, if not it your FI should probably talk to his BM about the situation as well as to not ruin your wedding day for both of you out of this