Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

So many ceremony questions! Not very familiar with "flow"

My step grandpa is a minister and he will be marrying my FI and I.  He has performed MANY ceremonies.  He came to me and asked what I wanted the ceremony to look like, and I have no idea!  I just want something quick, no extra songs or readings (other than what he is doing) and I want us to write our own vows.

From that he said that he wants to read our vows and have us repeat them.  I haven't been to many ceremonies, but I always envisioned just reading them to each other.  He said we could combine the tradition "repeat after me" with our own vows.  I A.) don't know if that would flow very well and B.) I don't want it to be too long!

Does any one have any ideas?  What did you do/are planning on doing for your ceremony?

Re: So many ceremony questions! Not very familiar with "flow"

  • We did traditional vows, but I absolutely think you can just read your own vows right to each other. Whenever I've attended a wedding where the couple wrote their vows, they did not repeat them after the officiant. I actually think that would be weird/awkward because they can be very personal and they are YOUR words, so I don't see why you'd have to repeat them after him first.

    I have also seen your own vows combined with some traditional vows. I don't think it would make it horribly long. My MOH's wedding only had one reading (a short one), and then they read their own vows to each other and the whole thing from BMs processing in to us exiting was about 10 min.


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  • I think sometimes a lot of people who want to write their own vows are not really writing vows.  "I promise to love and cherish you in sickness and in health" is a vow.  "I love the way you make me laugh" is not.  Maybe what you are envisioning as a vow is something better said as a toast or a speech at the reception.
  • We wrote our own vows and did the repeat after me.  H was afraid of trying to memorize them, I didn't like the way it looked to hold a piece of paper and read from it, so we compromized and did the repeatig thing.
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