Awkard Family Drama and Processional...

Vehige2012

So, here's the story:

My parents have been divorced for 20+ years. My dad THINKS he's been a good father (I have had conversations with him to let him know that I get along with him as a friend, but father, no way). He is remarried (over 10 years). My mother is not, never has been. She is wonderful. The wedding is on her mother's property and my mother is doing everything and has learned not to expect anything from my father (i.e. coming in on Friday for a Saturday wedding and leaving Sunday, offering no help-already happened with my bro's wedding).

I am walking myself down the aisle. I explained this to my mom as to not hurt my dad's feelings and well because I'm 33 and I've lived on my own since I was 17. I don't need the symbolism. I have 3 bridesmaids and 3 groomsmen (and 2 ushers who don't really have a job yet). I have 4 little boy attendants and 1 little flower girl.

How do we proceed up the aisle so that my mom doesn't walk by herself? And then what do I do with my father so that he feels somewhat important? My mom will be giving the reception greeting and prayer before meal.

Thoughts?
seating of grandmother
seating of parents
-fiance walk both mothers as father in law walks behind
-my dad walks with his wife behind them?
OR
-Future in laws walk themselves
-Dad walks his wife
-finace walks my mom?
bridal party
child attendants-or do these come before bridal party? my maid of honor?
me?

ugh...so much. please help!

amyelise25

Does FI want to escort anyone down the aisle?  Mine didn't, even though I thought it would be sweet for him to escort his mother.

If he doesn't want to escort anyone, he can just walk in with the best man through a side door, as most do.

Would your FMIL be OK with 'sharing' her son with your mother?  If so, I think that would be a really sweet gesture of togetherness to see him escorting both mothers down the aisle with his father walking behind.

Other options could include having the 2 ushers escort each of the mothers down the aisle.  Your FFIL could follow behind his wife. You could also have the two groomsmen possibly escort the moms down.   It's your wedding.  Do what you want. 

If you are splitting the moms... I think it would go grooms family then brides.  I think the mother would come after the father (I could be wrong). 

As for the wedding party... flower girls/ring bearers come down right before the bride.  So it goes bridesmaids, MOH, FG/RB, then bride.   But again, do what you want. 

I hope this helps. 

itzMS

The families really don't have to process. Ours didn't.

If you really insist on your family processing, you might want to utilize your ushers to seat the mothers and grandmother (this is a bit more traditional and pretty neutral).

MairePoppy

Tradtionally, the parents and grandparents are seated before the processional starts.

1. Grandmother is escorted to her seat
2. Mother and Father of the Groom may walk down the aisle together or may be escorted
3. Father of the bride and his wife may walk together or be escorted
4. MOB is walked to her seat by an escort of her choice - if she chooses someone from the wedding party, that person would simply walk back and take his or her place in the processional.

5. The groom enters with the best man and officiant and take their places - either from a side entrance or they could walk down the aisle

6. BMs and GMs walk in pairs or single file in any order you wish
7. MOH walks alone or with the best man
8. FGs and RBs follow the MOH or sometimes walk in front of her
9. The bride enters

You may change the wedding processional around however you like. If you are looking for a job for the ushers, other than directing guests to their seats, they could escort your grandmother and mother down the aisle. Or they could walk in the processional ahead of the wedding party. If your mom chooses your fi as her escort, he could just take his place up front after he walks her to her seat.

DisneyAsh

I think your FI walking your mother down would be a lovely gesture.

We have family drama, also, so I can relate. My mother has remarried and my father isn't invited. FI and I will be walking down the aisle together. But we're having a small, intimate wedding.

Vehige2012

So here's what we did and didn't make the decision until the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding. My FI (now husband) walked my grandmother down, then my father walked his wife, then my FI walked his mother with FIL walking behind, my mother was escorted by one of my ushers and long-time family friend. While she isn't a dog who needs walked, she felt important by having someone walk her to her seat. Then the little boys, then the cutest little flower girl you have ever seen. Then me, by myself. It was such an amazing ceremony!