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New York-Upstate

"no ring, no bring" help

so we are trying to keep our guest list down with a " no ring, no bring " policy because we are paying for everything and we don't have an unlimited budget. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to word our invitations so we don't offend anyone too badly?Smile

Re: "no ring, no bring" help

  • AeroStyleAeroStyle member
    edited December 2011
    People will be offended no matter how you word that. If people are in a relationship they come together. If budget is a concern you should keep it to just the very closest friends and family, and their SO.
  • wdubin122wdubin122 member
    edited December 2011
    If a couple is living together you need to invite both of them even if they are not engaged.
  • edited December 2011
    I would be 100% offended.  My FI were together with "no ring" for 8 years before we got engaged.  I agree, you should have a smaller wedding with those you can afford or you will risk offending/pissing off a lot of people because your intended approach is rude and tacky.  Sorry to be so blunt, but that's how I would take it.
    image Lilypie First Birthday tickers BFP #1 12/12/11 - Missed M/C 1/9/12 ~ BFP #2 4/5/2012
  • edited December 2011
    I recently whent to a wedding where my Fiance was not invited, because we werent engaged all that long at the time (6 weeks?). I tried to enjoy myself but couldnt, Also many people asked where my FI was and I think it looked poorly on the bride and groom when i said hes home, just not invited.
    I guess what im saying is: you dont know when another couple will get engaged, because we had "no ring" when the invites were sent out, and they had zero flexibility, he was not able to come. Be on gaurd so at least this dosent happen.

    Honestly, i see your situation, do you let 'jane doe' who has a difrent man every month bring her man of the moment? I think there should be a way around it.

    maybe say those wove been together for a year or more?
  • edited December 2011

    Thanks for alll of your responses =) we really appreciate it!!!

  • narrow56narrow56 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    On my RSVP card I was sure to put how many seats were reserved. Our rule was if someone was married or in a relationship their significant other was invited. Also, anyone who wouldn't know anybody else at the wedding is allowed to bring a guest. They could then put in the number of seats out of the number reserved. It worked very well!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • edited December 2011
    Long term relationship - yes, bring them. We were together for NINE YEARS before we got engaged. Inviting me and not him would have been rude, and I probably wouldn't attend. Of course, I would have also called and said "was this an oops?" before I actaully decided to be offended.

    But no, you are not obligated to invite "and guest" to every person who has a fling of the month. I used to have flings of the month (10 years ago!), and they were fun, but they don't belong at a wedding.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • edited December 2011
    We did guests for engaged/living together/long term relationships. If we didn't know the name of the SO, the person was invited alone.  A handful of people could have had a different SO at the time of the wedding then at the time invites went out. We had NO issues. Our invitations did NOT read John Smith and GUEST. It named the person that was invited. If a friend and her boyfriend of 9 years got into a fight the week before the wedding and she wanted to bring her cousin Peter I had never met, ,there was no way we were paying for that! Short story = every single attendee was invited BY NAME
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