Officiant is not ordained

lindseymon

Hi everyone,
My FI is a firefighter and we have asked his Captain to officiate our wedding ceremony as neither of us is religious. Problem is, he is not ordained or anything so we have two options: (1) Ask him to get ordained on the internet or (2) get married at the courthouse by ourselves (and just keep it to ourselves) and have him perform a 'ceremonial' ceremony (for lack of a better phrase lol) later with all of our friends and family present. What is the better option? I'm worried he will think getting ordained on the internet is weird.

Thanks for any advice!

HobokensFury

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_officiant-is-not-ordained?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:91e771ff-0b26-49cc-9d3d-af18bbe4455cPost:86e615c3-4fda-48dd-bf38-64ca6508c744">Officiant is not ordained</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi everyone, My FI is a firefighter and we have asked his Captain to officiate our wedding ceremony as neither of us is religious. Problem is, he is not ordained or anything so we have two options: (1) Ask him to get ordained on the internet or (2) <strong>get married at the courthouse by ourselves (and just keep it to ourselves) </strong>and have him perform a 'ceremonial' ceremony (for lack of a better phrase lol) later with all of our friends and family present. What is the better option? I'm worried he will think getting ordained on the internet is weird. Thanks for any advice!
Posted by lindseymon[/QUOTE]

Bad idea.

[Deleted User]

I'm assuming you've already asked him and he agreed. You can always offer also to pay for any fees he has to pay to become ordained. Follow up with him withing a reasonable amount of time before the wedding to see if he followed through. If not, then talk to him about the situation but be prepared to find another option.

Jen4948

First find out if he can be ordained, and if not, find another person who can officiate.  The captain can still attend and ask the questions, but he won't be able to sign your marriage certificate and may not be able to pronounce you married.

Lisa50

In general, an officiant does not need to be ordained to perform a legal wedding ceremony.  If you and your fiance are not religious, why would you want an ordained officiant?  I'm thinking of ordained as a ministerial function ... maybe there is a non-sacred meaning as well.

Anyhoo, I think the concern would be if the Captain can legally perform wedding ceremonies in your jurisdiction.  Is the Captain a justice of the peace or local magistrate?  Are fire Captains vested with the power to perform wedding ceremonies in the jurisdiction?  If you get the right answers to these questions, you might be set.  Every jurisdiction differs.

Good luck!

OliveOilsMom

I would also check with the town's clerk where the wedding will take place or with the town where the fire company is located.  His ranking in the fire department may allow him to perform civil ceremonies.  Most mayors, judges, and other elected/non-elected officials can perform ceremonies in the towns they work/live in.

Krikin22

We are having FI's brother officiate and he is not ordained. Luckily in California they allow you to arrange to have a friend or a member of your family perform your civil marriage ceremony.

They are called Deputy Marriage Commissioner for a Day. Your relative or friend will be required to go through some instruction, fill out a form, pay the fee, and be sworn in as a Deputy Marriage Commissioner.

Not sure if other states offer this though. It basically allows them to officiate one marriage on a specific day and that's it.

TheVirginians

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_officiant-is-not-ordained?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:91e771ff-0b26-49cc-9d3d-af18bbe4455cPost:4271cea9-c944-4d3d-9750-0d53294caef5">Re: Officiant is not ordained</a>:
[QUOTE]In general, an officiant does not need to be ordained to perform a legal wedding ceremony.  If you and your fiance are not religious, why would you want an ordained officiant?  I'm thinking of ordained as a ministerial function ... maybe there is a non-sacred meaning as well. Anyhoo, I think the concern would be if the Captain can legally perform wedding ceremonies in your jurisdiction.  Is the Captain a justice of the peace or local magistrate?  Are fire Captains vested with the power to perform wedding ceremonies in the jurisdiction?  If you get the right answers to these questions, you might be set.  Every jurisdiction differs. Good luck!
Posted by Lisa50[/QUOTE]


Yeah. The word they are looking for is licensed. A pastor is ordained by a religious group. Once ordained, they need to become licensed in the jurisdiction.

random4180

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_officiant-is-not-ordained?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:91e771ff-0b26-49cc-9d3d-af18bbe4455cPost:2a41692e-2af6-43b1-b24a-1ad7456e708b">Re: Officiant is not ordained</a>:
[QUOTE]North Carolina law says ORDAINED.  NC doesn't require a license to marry people, provided you are<strong> ordained by any recognized congregation, or have a degree from a seminary. </strong> Exceptions are made for Native American and Quaker ceremonies.  Online ordinations are prohibited by state statute.
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

<div>What about a non-religous ceremony? Is there no such thing in North Carolina? I mean, does the law essentially make it impossible for an atheist to have a non-religous person perform their marriage? That's kind of scary. There must be civil, courthouse ceremonies, right? Or do they just consider judges to be "ordained" somehow...</div>

TengR

We are getting legally married at the courthouse and then having our uncle officiate our ceremony at the wedding. He will not legally marry us - too many hoops to jump through to get him liscensed. I don't think it's a problem at all, and my guests all know and also don't think it's a problem. I'm not religious, so I consider the courthouse ceremony just the legal paperwork I have to get out of the way. The vows I'll say in front of my family and friends are more important to us - making promises before all the people we love is more special than having a legal document. 

I would go to the courthouse first and have your fiance's captain officiate your ceremony. Looking back, I think you'll find it more important that the person you want was standing up there with you vs. whether he had the legal sign-off. 

GoodLuckBear14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_officiant-is-not-ordained?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:91e771ff-0b26-49cc-9d3d-af18bbe4455cPost:2a41692e-2af6-43b1-b24a-1ad7456e708b">Re: Officiant is not ordained</a>:
[QUOTE]North Carolina law says <strong>ORDAINED</strong>.  NC doesn't require a license to marry people, provided you are ordained by any recognized congregation, or have a degree from a seminary.  Exceptions are made for Native American and Quaker ceremonies.  Online ordinations are prohibited by state statute.
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

How has this word been interpreted legally?  How is it defined within the statute?  This may be original language from hundreds of years ago that has moved into modern times through interpretation.  It would actually be unconstitutional for a state to require that a couple be married by an "ordained minister".