Definitely not traditional....

jen9713

So, we have decided to have a very non-traditional ceremony. We live in Wisconsin, but our favorite city, and where we completely fell in love, is Chicago. So, we've decided that we are going to have a ceremony in Chicago. Here's the plan: Ourselves, our parents, and our bridal party are going to take a couple of limos down to the city in the morning. One of the groomsmen will be an ordained minister, and we're just going to do it somewhere in the park. 10 minutes, bing bang boom. Then we can take pix in our favorite city, and be back for the reception.

Here's my questions... ready for this?

- Where do I find information about getting married out of state?

- Does anybody know if we HAVE to say our vows during the ceremony? We would like to say them at the reception, if we don't HAVE to say them.

- Are we going to get arrested for having a ceremony wherever we please?  That's actually a serious question.

I know it seems complicated... but it's very "us". We just don't want to do what everyone else is doing. And this way, we don't have to spend thousands to have a wedding in Chicago.

Any advice would help.

Thanks!

AddieCake

You probably have to get your marriage license there, so check on what the window is for that. I think you can get married anywhere as long as it isn't private property or a location that requires a special permit. The courthouse where you get your license could probably tell you that info. 

itzMS

Chicago is in Cook County, Illinois. So, here you go.

http://www.cookcountyclerk.com/vitalrecords/marriagelicenses/pages/default.aspx

You'll have to ask the clerk's office what the requirements for marriage are. There might also be laws/rules against marrying in a public park or beach without a permit...so ask those questions as well.

MairePoppy

ditto Stage.

What is the point of going to Chicago if you want to say your vows in front of your guests, at your wedding reception?

If you are looking for a photo op, just go have your pictures taken in Chicago and return to Milwaukee for the ceremony and reception. Be prepared that your wp might not want to spend 1 1/2 hours (?) on the road each way, though. Have you considered doing an engagement shoot in Chicago, just the two of you?

jen9713

StageManager: We love Chicago, and everyone is on board with us. We're not spending a ton of money by doing it this way. We just want to say our "I do's" in Chicago. Unless we win the lotto, I doubt we would be able to afford the whole thing there.

Liatris: We have 10 people, their spouses, my daughter, and our parents all going with us. So, it's all of the most important people in our lives who will be with us. We found that a lot of the people we wanted to invite, would really rather just come for the reception anyways. We thought that doing vows at the reception would be a lot like a toast to each other as you said.

Thanks for the information everyone! I guess I have a few phone calls in Cook County to make.

*Toodles*

jen9713

I totally see your points on wanting to say vows at the reception and going to Chicago for the ceremony. The vows thing is kind of in the air anyways, but it was worth knowing, because we want the smaller ceremony regardless of where we are getting married.

As far as the long drive, we know it's going to be a long ride, but we are providing a party bus, or 2 limos there and back. Our friends and family are pretty open to doing things this way. Trust me, we've ran it by everyone.

Thanks!

jen9713

StageManager: I appreciate your thoughts on this, and I'm glad you cleared that up. I didn't think about it that way. So, having the whole ceremony in Chicago makes more sense to me. I really only threw these questions out there, because I've never done this before, as many of you have not. I actually have not been to a lot of weddings either, we're still fairly young for a lot of our friends to be married.

P.S. I am the furthest thing from "selfish" "Princess" you will ever know. Asking questions on this website, is definitely not worth me being called these things, when you have no idea who I am or what I'm about.

beardownbchs

Do you know where in Chicago you plan to do this? It's a pretty big city and here's a lot of parks. There's usually an awefully lot of people in most of them - most them homeless and/or weird. You're likely to draw a crowd.

You really need to contact Cook County. No offense, but you're kind of asking us to do your research.

beardownbchs

Also - Are you having the reception the same day when you come back from your fanciful Chicago trip?

If not, you do not get to wear the dress or have a first dance or any of that "wedding reception" stuff.

(I have no idea why my posts are centered - this only happens to me at work.)

jen9713

I never asked for anyone to do my research for me. I simply asked if anyone "knew" this information, and wanted to know if I could get some help finding the information myself. A website link, etc. If you don't know, you don't have to respond. I thought maybe someone would just know a good place for me to start.

I've clearly upset a lot of people on here. I'm just going to do my thing, and will not be asking for assistance from others on this website again.

beardownbchs

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_definitely-not-traditional?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:93a12ccd-d187-481d-b12d-f07811d82f8aPost:c213f682-8edf-4bf4-8bad-73937d33f6c2">Re: Definitely not traditional....</a>:
[QUOTE]I never asked for anyone to do my research for me. I simply asked if anyone "knew" this information, and wanted to know if I could get some help finding the information myself. A website link, etc. If you don't know, you don't have to respond. I thought maybe someone would just know a good place for me to start. I've clearly upset a lot of people on here. I'm just going to do my thing, and <strong>will not be asking for assistance from others on this website again.
</strong>Posted by jen9713[/QUOTE]

Yeah maybe you shouldn't if you're going to be so over sensitive. No one on this site will sugar-coat or hold your hand and apparently that's what you're looking for. No one here was rude to you and we're trying to help you. I'm not going to do your dirty work for you, but we are trying to help.

AdeleDazeem

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_definitely-not-traditional?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:93a12ccd-d187-481d-b12d-f07811d82f8aPost:a3c46479-717f-437c-8f2b-196198b634e3">Definitely not traditional....</a>:
[QUOTE] Are we going to get arrested for having a ceremony wherever we please?  That's actually a serious question.
Posted by jen9713[/QUOTE]

Everyone must live wherever their marriage license was issued.  True story.  This is why my husband and I married in Bermuda - we had no choice but to stay there.

QueerFemme

<div align="left">In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_definitely-not-traditional?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:93a12ccd-d187-481d-b12d-f07811d82f8aPost:891320e1-c182-4521-8566-c0d066ee7f53">Re: Definitely not traditional....</a>:
[QUOTE]Do you know where in Chicago you plan to do this? It's a pretty big city and here's a lot of parks. <strong>There's usually an awefully lot of people in most of them</strong> - most them homeless and/or weird. You're likely to draw a crowd. You really need to contact Cook County. No offense, but you're kind of asking us to do your research.
Posted by beardownbchs[/QUOTE]

I actually agree with this.  I lived in Chicago for two years. The public spaces are pretty darn crowded most of the time.  Plus, even if you only have 10 people, you need to provide chairs for them. Have you thought about the logistics of that?  who is going to go ahead of you and set up chairs and try to keep a place in the park secure?

If you do decide to go with this plan, I would skip saying your vows at your reception.  Your vows are said during your ceremony.  You can always have someone videotape them, and play them at the reception.  But, this will add another expense to this Chicago wedding dream of yours.

Ultimately, I think it's a not so great idea.  You could get up early, get all prettied up, drive to Chicago, do a few hours worth of photo ops at Navy Pier, Millenium park, etc. and then back to your home and have your ceremony there in the late afternoon. </div>

bunni727

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_definitely-not-traditional?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:93a12ccd-d187-481d-b12d-f07811d82f8aPost:b51aca06-e8d2-401d-8da7-023fc7cf09c4">Re: Definitely not traditional....</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Definitely not traditional.... : I actually agree with this.  I lived in Chicago for two years. The public spaces are pretty darn crowded most of the time.  Plus, even if you only have 10 people, you need to provide chairs for them. Have you thought about the logistics of that?  who is going to go ahead of you and set up chairs and try to keep a place in the park secure? If you do decide to go with this plan, I would skip saying your vows at your reception.  Your vows are said during your ceremony.  You can always have someone videotape them, and play them at the reception.  But, this will add another expense to this Chicago wedding dream of yours. <strong>Ultimately, I think it's a not so great idea.  You could get up early, get all prettied up, drive to Chicago, do a few hours worth of photo ops at Navy Pier, Millenium park, etc. and then back to your home and have your ceremony there in the late afternoon. </strong>
Posted by cmgilpin[/QUOTE]

This sounds like the best course of action.

MobKaz

Jen....You may have fared better posting this on the local Illinois/Chicago board.

My son married on campus at the University of Chicago.  One of his closest friends, having received his "ordination" online, married them, so I know it is possible to do.  As to the specific legalities, I do not know, but perhaps this link may start you off.....

http://www.ehow.com/how_7611563_become-ordained-marry-someone-illinois.html

Contrary to PP's comments ^^ above, the ignorant statement that "most (citizens in our parks) are either homeless and/or weird, clearly is not the case.  However, I will say that in MANY parks, even having professional engagement photos often requires a permit.  Unless you are wearing a huge, honking wedding dress and drawing an exhorbitant amount of attention, I doubt you will even be noticed, let alone arrested.  Afterall, most of Chicago's finest will be otherwise occupied trying to disperse the homeless and weird from the vicinity.  However, it IS possible you would be told to cease and desist.

In addition to the link itzMS suggested, you may also want to look at the Chicago Park District links for additional information.They have a link offering information on permits and rentals.

http://www.chicagoparkdistrict.com/

Good luck!