Bridesmaid issue...

Last night, my fiance gets a call from his mother.  She said when she was out shopping with F's sister, his sister mentioned she hoped she was a BM.  My heart sank to my stomach.  I have nothing against this girl.  She's sweet, and it's cute that she wants to be one of my BMs.  BUT, we're not close.  I don't text her or FB her, and really the only time I see her is when we go over to his parent's house for a dinner.  I'm also planning on paying for my BM's dresses, and I've only budgeted for the 5 (2 are my sisters)....Believe me, we're on a pretty tight budget.  I just don't know how I feel about this.  I lie.  I feel obligated.  And I HATE that.  But I also don't want to hurt her feelings.

What would you do?
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Re: Bridesmaid issue...

  • lnvane00lnvane00 member
    edited December 2011
    eesh that's a hard situation.. I would just explain to her and possibly her mother that its just not in your budget considering that your paying for the BM dresses. But what if they consider paying for her dress themselves? would you consider letting her be in the wedding then? Thats probly what I would do. Unless you absolutely do not want her in the wedding party. Then I would just explain to them that you have your limit on BM (5 girls) and dont want to change the plans. GL
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  • TisharpTisharp member
    edited December 2011
    What if she was a groomswoman instead, and stood on her brother's side?

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  • edited December 2011
    That is tough...I like the groomswoman idea if that's a possibility. I included FI's sister in mine...we're not close either, but I was including my sister and a friend who is like my sister, and it just felt like a slight to her...not a great way to start out the family...good luck to you in whatever you decide!
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  • edited December 2011
    Maybe she can do a reading or participate in some other way.
  • edited December 2011
    I actually had a similair situation. I had planned for three BM and had actually talked to my FI's sister before hand about the wedding and she said she was happy just being in the audiance. The this thing blew up about how they thought it was rude I didn't ask her. I just apologized, told them I had already picked my BM's and that honestly I wasn't use to/don't know very many wedding traditions so I didn't know that it was a tradition to ask the grooms sister (which is what they told me). I would just tell her as nicely as possible that you have already picked your BM's and don't have the money for more and that you would love for her to be apart of another aspect of the wedding.
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