Bridal Shower etiquette / Renewal Of Vows

Lindsay914

I was engaged on 3/1/09. Started to plan my wedding for 5/14/10. My fiance had been unemployed, and our taxes on our house went up considerably. We tried to sell, but were having a hard time. He chose to join the Army. To serve our country and make us a future. We decided to have a very small civil ceremony before he left. The plan was to still have our wedding/reception in 2010. We planned our small wedding prior to him leaving in 2 weeks and only immediate family was in attendance. We did however notify everyone that attended that we didn't want any gifts as we were still planning on having our big day in 2010. No gifts were given. Now it's coming up to our big day, and my Bridal Party have decided to throw me a bridal shower. Since I have given up a lot, including moving away from my family and friends for the next 5 years to be with my husband. The grooms family does NOT agree that I should have a bridal shower, nor a ceremony. They say that it's embarassing to invite their family to a "wedding" when we are already married.

Am I wrong in wanting my special day? Is my Bridal Party wrong for throwing me a Bridal Shower, that I would have otherwise had, given the circumstances.  HELP!??????

njgal26

First of all, you are not wrong at all!  As the wife of a military man, I know how frustrating it can be to live on the "time schedule" of Uncle Sam (DH and I were engaged for over 2 years b/c we tried to avoid deployment periods.) 
I'm so sorry that FI's family is not understanding your situation.  IMO, if your BP wants to throw you a shower, I say let them! It's up to them if they want to throw you one, plus you never had a shower!  Even though you and FI may be doing things in a different order than the "norm," this is the celebration of your wedding and just b/c you guys are already married, does not mean that you can't have a ceremony with all of your loved ones there and the party afterwards! 
I say go for it and people have a problem with it, then they don't have to come.

demarcosjd

I agree with pp. I don't think you are wrong at all! One of my best friends was in a wedding with an almost exact situation. They had a civil ceremony and then about a year later had an actual reception. Her bridal party also threw her a shower and no one thought anything of it. If your BM's want to have a shower let them, as pp said it is up to them. I hope your husbands family has a change of heart and becomes more excepting of both of your wishes.

Jennifer & Christopher

My husband and me got married 5 years ago and have to boys at the time we got married my husband father was very sick so we didn't have a big wedding, but we said that we will have a big renew of the vows. So we are doing it next summer. Your husband and you can do whatever you want it not about your family or his it about what makes you and him happy and if having the dream wedding you always want then go for it and have a ball. Renew of vows is so in right now. I wish you and you husband the best and please tell him thank you for service our country. My husband is a exUSMC. Good luck with your wedding.