BM's Contributions...

demarcosjd

Happy Friday everyone! Since it is pretty dead on here today and I am more than ever procrastinating doing anything at work I figured I would ask a few questions that I am wondering about. What is around the typical amount your BM's contribute for the shower and bachelorette party? I have 7 in my party, I know it can depends on the amount of girls but what would you say is too much? Also I have a bachelorette party coming up for my friend’s wedding and her MOH seems to think that it is only something the bridal party contributes towards. She said that if other friends come they do not have to contribute for the room to stay over. I could be wrong but I was told the bachelorette party is more of a courtesy from the bridal party if they are able to contribute not necessarily have to cover all costs. Thoughts...

PharmJen

I definitely don't agree with the bridal party covering the costs of the bachelorette party and those outside the BP not paying.  What if there's only a small number of ppl in the BP?  I just don't think that's right and would never expect my girls to pay for other friends to stay in a hotel, take a limo, etc.  The last bachelorette party I went to I probably spent around $200 between limo, dinner and drinks after, and I was not in the wedding.  A shower cost will depend on how many people are invited.  My mom and FMIL are paying for my shower to eliminate $$ drama.  Each of my BMs (6 total) would easily be spending $250+ between shower cost, favors, and gift if our moms weren't paying.

pumpkinseed12

I think it depends on the family and the situation. My one BM gave $250 towards the shower and my gift from the BP. My MOH/sister and FSIL/other BM split the remaining expenses 50/50 with the exception of my mother would made the centerpieces for the shower. Ultimately I think the entire BP should divide the cost of the shower and joint gift all equally. As for the bachelorette party, only my MOH and friend BM was there since my FSIL lives in FL. I had 5 other girlfriends attend the party and they all split the total of the hotel rooms evenly, minus me, so everyone even technically chipped in for my portion. I think anyone who wants to partake in bachelorette festivities should be responsible for whatever comes along with it. (limos, hotel rooms, party packages, etc.)

nygirl07

I agree, every bachelorette party I've been too or hosted the cost was split b/w everyone, even if they weren't in the bridal party.  I'm doing just dinner and drinks b/c I want everyone there...I think some get too carried away with hotels and weekends away.  I actually had a bride get mad at me b/c I couldn't afford to go to NY for 3 days for her bachelorette party....she said it was what she wanted and I was suppose too go b/c I was in the bridal party!!  I believe that if you want something bigger you either don't expect everyone to come or cover the costs.As for bridal showers, I've put it b/w 175 and 225 for the ones I've hosted and that including everything and the joint gift.  I'm not sure what my girls are spending but I know my mom and FMIL are chipping in b/c they wanted ALL the women they new to be invited.

Irishgrl417

I think my mom paid for the majority of my shower because 3 of my bridesmaids were my cousins who are still in college. They contributed but I have no idea how much or if my MOH with a career contributed more. I'd say you shouldn't be worried about how much your girls are paying for the shower because nobody should be telling you. If they're coming to you to complain about cost, you need to defer to your mom or someone else.As far as bachelorette parties go, everyone chips in evenly. I've never heard of non bridal party friends getting a free ride. If the bridal party can afford it maybe they could split the cost for covering the bride's expenses just among themselves and not ask others to contribute to that but everyone just at least pay their own way.

demarcosjd

Thanks for the feedback! I have never heard of the bridal party only covering the cost of the bachelorette party either. It just has been this on going thing with trying to convince her and explain to her MOH that its just not fair. Her whole thing is what if a few friends who said they are not sure if they are coming decide to show and then it will look tacky to ask them for money. We explained that I couldn't see anyone showing up at a Bparty and not thinking they had to pay. After reading her some responses from here I think we are finally starting to make headway.