Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

Officiant protocol

We asked a friend of ours to get ordained. This seemed like a nice, casual option for the ceremony until I started to think about it and I began to fret a little. My biggest concern is who is supposed to come up with the script for the ceremony. Am I supposed to provide him with it or should I expect him to take charge of it? I know whichever way there will be collaboration involved. Also, does anyone know of sites for some ceremony scripts? I know there are some on here and I've tried Google but so far haven't found anything useful.

Re: Officiant protocol

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    If you have asked a friend, you should be prepared to tell him what you want him to do. Chances are he hasn't done 3000 weddings like an ordained minister or a jop has and wont be able to help you plan the ceremony much. I would start doing your own research about what you want and timing and then give him the details of what you want to happen.

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    This site has some helpful stuff clicky<---- for planning a ceremony.  I would guess that if your friend has never officiated a wedding you'll need to be a big part of planning the ceremony.


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    There are lots of websites that give you an outline of the ceremony should go. My officiant has done tons of weddings, but he still asked us to provide him with an outline. Only you know how you want your ceremony to be, so it would be best for you to come up with a script. This is one of the sites I used -----> clicky
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    I'm in the same situation - my brother is officiating. Since he's never done this before, he's asked me to tell him what to do/what to say and I think that's totally fair. I haven't found anything in particular yet either, though TK does have articles on vows and having a friend officiate. I do think you should be the one to plan the majority of the ceremony, though. 
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    Thanks for all your help! That article link was extremely helpful. I was able to form a template based on that. I agree that it should primarily up to the bride and groom to decide the details. It's just kind of a weird situation to dictate what someone says but maybe that's just because it's a new experience for me.
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    Looking for books at the library is a great suggestion. I didn't even think of it! I know it is legal in my state (Michigan) because that is how my brother was wedding. I asked him advice on putting the ceremony and he didn't really give me much to go on...

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    My best friend just agreed to officiate at our wedding. In MA, she doesn't have to be ordained: there's simply a one-day designation application and personal reference letter to be filed. I also had some trepidation at first, but the alternative is to have a Justice of the Peace, and at least this way our officiant will be a person who knows and loves us! I say relax, do your research and collaborate. Smile
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    It sounds like you are having good luck with researching on your own but I wanted to mention another option. Our officiant (professional celebrant and JoP) will work with couples to write a ceremony for a friend to perform. You get the benefit of their experience for considerably less than the cost of them coming for the big day, although it is still an expense you wouldn't have if you design it yourself. You can look up officiants on the local vendor board and inquire if they have ceremony writing services.
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    I wrote ours since it is a Buddhist inspired service. Our friend is the officiant and was thrilled to have me doing it for him. He had no clue what to write. I'd google it and take what you like as inspiration.
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