Catholic priest marry outside of church?

keriant

I'm pretty sure I know the answer to this....but are there any Catholic priests in the area who will perform the ceremony outside of the church and it still be recognized?

We've decided on doing the ceremony and reception at the same place and some older, more religious, family members are a bit upset about it. I thought that maybe it would be a good compromise...

LisaLPharmD

If they do it, they have to get a dispensation from the bishop.  It's usually only done if there are circumstances why it can't be done in the church, like health reasons.  Maybe you can find a rogue priest or someone who will dress up like one though!! Good luck!

cutiepie12702

I am having an interfaith wedding with a Priest and a Rabbi - I am Catholic and take my religion seriously, and FI is not religious at all by any means (I think he wanted the Rabbi just to keep his family happy). When I met with the Priest I told him that I heard the marriage is not recognized by the church if it does not take place at the church (HUGE concern for me, I stressed about it for weeks) - he said that is only true if the marriage is between two Christians. Since I am marrying someone who is not baptized, our marriage is still considered valid (this acceptance was granted by the Pope in the 1970's he said) and he will submit the necessary paperwork to the church so our marriage is recognized. However, he said if I was marrying someone who was baptized (another Christian, Catholic or not) the marriage would not be valid, as a marriage between two Christians can only take place in a church...or a cemetary (sacred grounds only). The only reason they allow the marriages between a Christian and non-Christian take place outside the church is so that neither side feels uncomfortable being in the opposite's side's place of worship, so they allow it to take place on neutral grounds. When both parties are Christian, there is no valid reason to not having the ceremony on sacred grounds. Basically, if you are both Christian, no priest will marry you outside of the church because they are not allowed to do so.

Rangergirl

Based on the recommendation of another Knottie, my FI and I have found someone to perform a Nuptial Mass outside the Church at our venue which has made this entire thing so much less stressful and if you want to give me your email I will forward you his information as well. However he did tell us that the marriage still won't be recognized by the Church because it wasn't performed IN the Church (we're both Catholic so that seems to be in line with what cutiepie said earlier). However if it would help your relatives to see a Mass and an actual priest performing it, maybe they will just assume it's been recognized and you never have to let them know otherwise! I totally understand where you are coming from!

toree31

I am also looking for a priest to marry outside of church. I understand it will not be recognized in the eyes of the church, however I still want some religious aspects to be included. Could I please have the name of the priest Rangergirl? Thank you.

Bonnie&Clyde77

Seems like a lot of us are in the same situation! Could you please send me the info also?!    Thanks!!

lynzy333

Im in the same situation as Cutiepie but Im Jewish and my Fiance is Catholic and we are having a Catholic Priest and a Rabbi.  The Priest explained pretty much the same things and is getting the DIspensation so the marriage will be recongized by the Church for my Fiance. 

Bonnie&Clyde77

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_south-new-jersey_catholic-priest-marry-outside-of-church?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:128Discussion:95fb00de-ff50-4bb9-9daf-6b89aecb4ebePost:c3c00c37-1c29-4062-a382-2a89d165325a">Re: Catholic priest marry outside of church?</a>:
[QUOTE]Im in the same situation as Cutiepie but Im Jewish and my Fiance is Catholic and we are having a Catholic Priest and a Rabbi.  The Priest explained pretty much the same things and is getting the DIspensation so the marriage will be recongized by the Church for my Fiance. 
Posted by lynzy333[/QUOTE]
 Is your Rabbi willing to do a ceremony and are they both people you knew or found?<div>
</div><div> My fiance is Jewish and I am Catholic..my Priest here said he would be willing to perform a ceremony (Not a Mass but sort of a blessing) and now we need a Rabbi that will be willing to take part even though I am not converting. My fiance attends synagogue but the Rabbi there is not friendly at all and there is some long ago drama between his family (part of the founders of that particular synagogue) and her.</div>

lcalletta

We are having the same situation. My dad is really set on the Catholic ceremony in chutch, we are not. My uncle is a pastor in a Methodist church and is performing out ceremony, but can't leagally sign the paperwork. We found a reverend in Atco at Atco United Methodist and explained our situation. He and my uncle are performing a Christian ceremony which mirrors the Catholic ceremony, and he is wearing his clericals, so hopefully all will be happy.

Rangergirl

I'm sorry I took so long to get back to you ladies! I went to Vegas with my friend and never got to send it before I left. I will PM you with the information

lynzy333

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_south-new-jersey_catholic-priest-marry-outside-of-church?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:128Discussion:95fb00de-ff50-4bb9-9daf-6b89aecb4ebePost:f2f45785-9e7e-449b-9c05-c6b77951ce2f">Re: Catholic priest marry outside of church?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Catholic priest marry outside of church? :  Is your Rabbi willing to do a ceremony and are they both people you knew or found?  My fiance is Jewish and I am Catholic..my Priest here said he would be willing to perform a ceremony (Not a Mass but sort of a blessing) and now we need a Rabbi that will be willing to take part even though I am not converting. My fiance attends synagogue but the Rabbi there is not friendly at all and there is some long ago drama between his family (part of the founders of that particular synagogue) and her.
Posted by Bonnie&Clyde77[/QUOTE]

<a href="http://www.interfaithclergynetwork.com/">http://www.interfaithclergynetwork.com/</a>

rabbi berris  he will do anything where ever as long as he is available. 

My rabbi would not do it either due to contactual issues and then there were other issues so we are using both a Rabbi and a Priest from them.

SORRY for the delay too!!!!

daysleeper3

My fiance and I really wanted a beach wedding outdoors so having a priest marry us wasn't really an option.  I did want to have it recognized by the church though.  I called the church I had been confirmed at etc to see what would need to be done.  Basically the priest told me that by choosing to be married on the beach I was choosing not to be part of the church.   He said that the only way I could be part of the church was to wait a few years after the wedding and give him a call and maybe he would consider doing something.  I called another catholic church and they were much nicer.  S

So a month after the beach wedding we are going to have a tiny (immediate family only)  convalidation  ceremony at the church so it will be recognized by the church.  Basically you do everything as if you were getting married (pre cana etc.) but it called something different since its not the legal marriage.  The priest at the second church is really nice and understood that we wanted a natural outdoor wedding but also a way for the church to consider it a real sacrament.

cmaygrl

daysleeper3 -- who/where are you going for your "2nd" Nuptials?   We had a beach wedding, but (I) would really like to have our marriage recognized. Thanks!!

daysleeper3

St. Michaels (soon to be renamed though) in Gloucester County.  I get the feeling if you call the right church they will do the Convalidation.  St. Michaels is merging with another church due to small enrollment which is probably one reason they were so nice.

cmaygrl

daysleeper3 -- Thank you!!
Have a great weekend!

lynzy333

The priest that is doing my wedding would marry you on the beach and have it recognized by the church.  He explained it is just a preference on who will and wont do things. Im getting married at the same place my reception is.  I will never be married in a church.  However my marriage will be recognized by the state of NJ and PA and on file with the Diocese (sorry if I spelled that wrong) of Philadelphia.

I hate hearing so many different things because of someone elses preference.  Marriage is a beautiful thing and it stinks when we have to jump through so many hoops!!

Bebeangie1

Please let me know if anyone knows a catholic priest that will marry outside of the church. I live in Los Angeles.

Jla1118

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_south-new-jersey_catholic-priest-marry-outside-of-church?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:128Discussion:95fb00de-ff50-4bb9-9daf-6b89aecb4ebePost:32d6ed4b-b9cb-4fa9-b22b-78fa851073c6">Re: Catholic priest marry outside of church?</a>:
[QUOTE]The priest that is doing my wedding would marry you on the beach and have it recognized by the church.  He explained it is just a preference on who will and wont do things. Im getting married at the same place my reception is.  I will never be married in a church.  However my marriage will be recognized by the state of NJ and PA and on file with the Diocese (sorry if I spelled that wrong) of Philadelphia. I hate hearing so many different things because of someone elses preference.  Marriage is a beautiful thing and it stinks when we have to jump through so many hoops!!
Posted by lynzy333[/QUOTE]




Could you provide me with the priest's info please? I'd really appreciate it!

Minehan

Can you tell me who married you. I would love to contact him for my wedding.

OliveOilsMom

Minehan, I recommend that you contact a priest from your parish.  Any of these Catholic priests that are performing weddings outside of the walls of a Church, without proper dispensation, are either no longer in favor with the Church themselves or will become in trouble with the Church, when someone complains to a bishop about him. 

If you want to continue your Catholic faith, then get married in a Church.  If you are not married in a Church, you are out of favor and can no longer receive Communion.  The ladies of the Catholic board on TK can help you with knowing all the ins and outs of why a Catholic marriage must be performed inside a Church.  They are very knowledgeable.

ashc88

Please PM me the info too, if I'm not too late!

I'm getting married in South Jersey in August 2014.  We're both Catholic and not particularly religious, but would prefer a priest to marry us.. just feels better

OliveOilsMom

If your not religious then why bother?  You insult all Catholics who believe and practice their faith by having a religious ceremony, when you define yourself as "not particularly religious."

ashc88

You spelled you're* wrong.. I don't have a parish because mine closed and I haven't found another one I like.  I think after 16+ years of Catholic schooling, our families would appreciate a priest.  I also don't believe I asked for your opinion.. only the people who posted that they had priests to recommend

OliveOilsMom

That's what's great about an online message board. You didn't ask for my opinion, just like I didn't ask you to fix my grammar. But my opinion stays the same, it's a sham to have a priest perform a marriage outside of the Church, because it won't be valid in the Church. My H & I both attended Catholic school and my H's Church closed too. What we did was find a new parish together.

If your families would appreciate a priest, don't you think they would also appreciate a valid marriage that will keep your good standing in the Church. Allow you to keep receiving Communion? If you stay on your current plan, you will out of good standing with the Church and they will not recognize your marriage. Also, you are not allowed to receive any sacraments in the Church until your marriage would come back into good standing.

You want to have a fake Catholic marriage, that's fine. But what will happen when you need to baptize your future children? Are you going to ask this same "priest" to come by your house with a bucket of water that he says is holy water? Probably not. Its the same thing because neither are valid in the Catholic faith.

ashc88

LOL I don't want to receive communion, I don't want to baptize my children, and I don't want to ever receive another sacrament in the Church.  I'm good.  Just looking for a fake priest for my wedding.  Hey, maybe I can even just get someone to dress up like a priest?  That'll work too.

OliveOilsMom

Ok.  I can just see that you are trying to placate mommy and daddy now by having a fake priest marry you.  Good luck trying to find one!

ashc88

My parents didn't get married in a church either (in fact I was born out of wedlock), and they aren't paying for my wedding so I'm quite certain they don't give a crap.  Don't you have anything else to do?  I was trying to get information from this post, not fight with some middle-aged woman about her religion.

OliveOilsMom

The reason I have taken an interest in this thread is because I don't like it when people take portions of my religion and use them how they wish.  The Catholic Church is all or nothing.  I'm sure you picked up on some of that in the 16 years you attended Catholic School.  If you're not religious, then why even have a religious ceremony?  Or if you no longer believe in the teachings of the Church, then why don't you find a new church you relate to and have them marry you?  You are only making a mockery of yourself when you put on shows, in this case being married by a "Catholic priest" when you have no interest in being Catholic.

ashc88

Sorry to disappoint you, but you can't dictate what other people want to do with their lives/weddings.  Hopefully it doesn't offend you too bad that I am making a mockery of it  Anywho, I think I found a priest so I'll be done with this thread for now!  Thanks for all of your advice and religious judgment.

OliveOilsMom

There was never any religious judgement.  I was trying to teach you why it is wrong to go on the path you are currently on.  But I guess it doesn't matter now.  I hope that the "priest" you have found gives you the fakest Catholic ceremony ever!  I also hope that you don't have any strict Catholics in your family that will be appalled at the fact you are having a "Catholic" ceremony.  You may be seriously offending them and while they may never say it to your face, I'm sure they will be very disappointed that you used their religion in such a way.

ashc88

I will surely burn in the fires of hell and damnation.. thank god I don't have any Catholic people coming to my wedding to judge me!  Close call!