Father and 7 year old son both walking me down the ailse?

akmcarver

My son will be 7 when I get married in 2014.  My fiance is not his biological father.  We would like to include him in the ceremony as much as possible.  Would it be appropriate to have both my father AND my son walk me down the ailse, or not so much, due to his young age?  Any opinions would be greatly appreciated!

Avion22

I guess it depends on whether or not you think a 7-year-old understands the concept of marriage enough to decide on his own if he wants to participate in the ceremony.   I think you should wait until closer to the day (maybe a few months out) and try talking to your son about it and see if he wants to participate in the ceremony at all, and if so, discuss some options.

He may turn out to be a terribly shy child who would feel uncomfortable with all eyes on him.   Or maybe he'd rather be a ring bearer or something.   

In my opinion, children are only "inappropriate" in a wedding when they are too young to consent to participate or to understand the concept of marriage (seven is probably old enough, depending on your child) or when they are forced or coerced to particpate despite not giving their consent.   

[Deleted User]

As long as he's comfortable with it I think it will be adorable!

itzMS

Marriage is too serious to have kids involved in walking their mother down the aisle. To me, it is just not something a child can grasp the magnitude of.

I am on the extreme on this, of course. But whenever I see a child walking with their mother as she's about to get married, I feel the focus gets taken away from the couple vowing to each other for life and instead goes to cute little Johnny in his tuxedo.

Could your son escort his grandma to her seat, or like pp suggested, be the ring bearer?

MairePoppy

It's fine to have your son walk you down the aisle if that's what he wants to do.

zrlindsay

My son is 11 and will be walking me down the aisle.

gigiarch

As long as he is comfortable with walking with you is all that should matter.  We are incorporating a small piece in our ceremony with presenting our children from previous relationships with a unity necklace. 

Lisa50

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_father-and-7-year-old-son-both-walking-me-down-the-ailse?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:a535bd2d-0a04-4f30-82ff-9784f70e8314Post:3e7ddccf-1b8e-4f99-a3f1-758df3e8db5d">Father and 7 year old son both walking me down the ailse?</a>:
[QUOTE]My son will be 7 when I get married in 2014.  My fiance is not his biological father.  We would like to include him in the ceremony as much as possible.  Would it be appropriate to have both my father AND my son walk me down the ailse, or not so much, due to his young age?  Any opinions would be greatly appreciated! :)
Posted by akmcarver[/QUOTE]

I'd say it depends on what <em>walking down the aisle</em> means to you.  If it's about being<strong> given away</strong>, then no, it is not appropriate for a child to give away his mother.  If it's about something else (you fill in that blank), then I guess you just ask yourself if it's appropriate for a child to have a symbolic role in that activity.

I realize that might be a somewhat wishy washy answer, but that's the best I can do ... Good luck!

s-aries8990

If your son is gung-ho about his new Stepfather, then I think that escorting you down the aisle is fine, if it's something he is comfortable with. It could be beautiful if he holds your hand as you walk down together, gives you a kiss and goes and sits with gramma while your dad "gives you away"

I do, however, think it is inappropriate for him to give you away becasue, as PP's said, he may be too young to understand the concept of a marriage. If he was older, it would be a different situation.

Maybe have him be the ring bearer instead?

[Deleted User]

My 11 yr old son walked me down the aisle along with my father. If anything, I regret it not being just my son walking me down alone. 

I completely disagree with PPs who think it is inappropriate for a (YOUR) child nonetheless to walk their mother down the aisle. I am going to assume you are of a certain age to have a child that will be 7 when you get married, & the fact that you have a child alone signifies that you are not some little girl who hasn't already "left" her Daddy (for lack of better words), so I don't think you are "being given away" as Lisa50 referred to. (I actually find that concept to be rather barbaric.)

I say go for it. It was a great moment & memory for our family. I had never even thought to have him walk me down the aisle until he asked if he could. I am glad he did!! 

daisyamers

absolutely! i am having my father, one of my uncles and one of my grandfathers walk me down the isle as they have all been my primary father figure througout my life. (if my mom were alive it would have been just her). it will be one of the best moments of your life, so make it meaningful to you!

savxcore1

What I've read the father gives away the bride, unless this is the bride's second marriage and she has a son, then the son would.

But I think its sweet.

Jen4948

Is it what your son actually wants?

If walking with you down the aisle is okay with him, why not just call him one of your "escorts" ? I have to agree with PPs that children should not "give away" their mothers (actually, I'm just plain not comfortable with the concept of anyone "giving away" the bride as though she were property, but that's me).

Tandksmommy

I have considered having my son walk me down the aisle (he will be 7 and it would be only if he wanted to participate), but that's because it's my second marriage and I'm already "given".

Let your son decide whether or not he wants to do this. It will depend on the child.

royzwedding

My Childern will be escorting (dancing) me down.  But when it comes time to "give me away" my dad will stand and do the honor.  It is important for us to include the Childern and they will also be joining us for the sand cermony also.